My Life As It Pertains to Me Part 5: Back To School

If this is your first visit to my blog, you may want to start at the beginning of my current series - My Life as it Pertains to Me.  Find the first entry here.

It's amazing how quickly we can forget people and events in our life as new opportunities unfold. I believe it's important to remember where you've come from and what you've been through, or you'll get messed up somewhere in the middle while headed toward your goal.

What interests me most about life paths, though, is how it takes so much seeking to find, that the one thing we really want to do with our life is often the very thing we loved doing as a child - at least that's how it was for me.

Even as a kid, I was in love with visual story telling - yet I assumed everyone was. But when I look back, I realize I was truly the strange kid on the block - yet somehow, I convinced everybody to go along with it, and buy in to my little performance games.  I was always planning some movie that my sisters and I would act out and I hoped to film with my parents camcorder. I'd drag them around to locations in the yard and walk them through each scene as it existed in my mind. I'd even make costumes and props out of scraps my parents gave me from their projects.  If I wasn't planning a movie I'd have all the neighbor kids over and then supervise as they built a stage. I'd train them all day at some talent I knew nothing about, then go door to door inviting the adult neighbors over to watch the show during the warm summer eve that followed.

You see, I love to draw people in to a story and entertain them, so as you can imagine I was ecstatic when I found my self attending college to learn how to make movies.

The first year and a half, however, were incredibly faith building and insane, as had been much of my adult life up to this point.  First, I'd never been to college before - and I was 29.  I'll admit that although I'm typically a confident person - I was nervous and it took me about a year of observation to feel comfortable in this new surrounding.  I spent most my time in Portland alone, and worked hard to attain perfect grades in all my beginning studies.

Now, if you've been reading this series, you'll know that up to the point of me starting college, my husband and I were going through very serious struggles financially - and still were.  7 kids at home in our unfinished church house, and I was literally praying in food, and scrambling to find ways to pay the bills.  So college? a logical choice? Not really.  I originally came and met with an entrance adviser thinking I'd learn about the school, and come back to enroll in the next year or so when we were hopefully back on our feet.  But I had prayed about it, and put it up to God that if it was his will for me to attend, my tuition would be 100% paid for, and that I would leave the meeting enrolled in school.  And that is exactly what happened.

Looking back now, I feel a little irresponsible about the sacrifices I made to pursue my passion.  Because that first year, even that first day - when ever there was a non-tuition expense that had to be paid, I had to pray the money in.  And literally there would be exactly the amount I needed in my account.  What about my kids?  How could I steal that money from then?  I'd learned by this point in life, that in times of need, God was never too late, and always provided just what was needed.  And although we were poor, my kids were not underprivileged.  I worked hard to find ways to provide them with opportunities we could not afford.  Besides my drive to pursue my passion, was not born of only selfish desires, but of a desire to prove to them that whatever you set your mind to is possible.  And even more, to show my daughters there is more to life than getting married and having babies.  I want my kids to rise above in their adult life.  And I believe that seeking out my own passions,  is the only way to teach my children to do the same.

I remember one event during this year in particular - our account was overdrawn, my gas tank was empty, and I needed to be to school that evening.  I thought to myself - 'I prayed, and know I'm supposed to be going to school to become a filmmaker - so God will provide a way there today'.  I got dressed and ready to go just like normal, in the assumption that God would provide the means.  Then, just five minutes before I needed to leave, there was a knock at the door.  In front of me stood an acquaintance with an envelope in her hand.  She gave it to me, and said "We felt God prompt us to give this to you."  She was unaware of my current situation, yet in the envelope was exactly enough money to pay my gas and parking.  This incident perfectly sums up my first year of college.  As for the following years, we'll talk about that in another blog.

For now - whether you believe in God or not - it is faith in a creator that has gotten me through my most difficult moments in life.  I'm not a supporter or believer of religion, but I do believe that we all have a purpose - and I could not live peacefully if I did not at least try to fulfill mine in the hopes of making a difference in this life.

Yes, Life is All Surreal.  It's the trials in life that make the triumphs so satisfying...just stick to it, and eventually you will break through.

MJB

Find the rest of the series here:
My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 1
My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 2
My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 3
My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 4
Next Post: My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 6 
My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 7


Since there are no pictures in this blog (and I personally need visuals) Below are some links from my DFV101 class - its a little embarassing to share these - but its the beginning of my journey to become a filmmaker so...Feel free to watch my Reel first...so you know I'm capable of so much more.

Monica Graves Reel 2012 from monica graves on Vimeo.


Theses are all in camera edit pieces (which means they are not edited, but rather shot exactly as you see them) so please excuse any issues - namely audio. 
NOTE: They are password protected - the password is:  password

Parking Meter from Hell
Forgot One Thing
The Forgetful Couple

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