One Thing For Sure
While folding laundry this afternoon, a common thought began to pass through my mind, bringing an oh so familiar sadness.
-One thing in life is absolute for all of us. We're born, we live, and then we die. We take nothing with us, and leave only one thing behind that truly is a part of us, and that is our memory-
And for me, that is a big deal....So big in fact, that I've laid awake stressing at night since I was a little kid because I know that someday, I will no longer have the luxury of being around my loved ones because inevitably we all must go. And maybe that's why I try so hard not to connect with people, because goodbyes are something that I can't cope with.
I think about death often. I think about what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I still want to do before my time is up. Although this familiar sadness flooding my mind, should drive me to show those around me how I feel about them, it seems a rare moment that I actually allow myself the time to enjoy those things, those people that I hold dear to my heart. I pass them by, I meet their needs, I communicate with them often, but rarely ever do I really express my love and appreciation for them.
I realized today, that my baby will soon be one year old. I don't know where her life has gone, but one thing I do know is that I've missed so much of the joy and connection I should have had because of my drive to provide a better life for her. But is that better really? A parent who is never home in the hopes of keeping her children from suffering?
I don't know. But I do know that every day I'm alive, I want to try to be a better person than I was the day before. I want to take it all in, and I want to be a blessing, not a bother, to the people that are with me.
Life is All Surreal.
It passes to quickly, and nothing is absolute. Make your choices wisely because you're not the only one who is going to feel the effects of them - they become a part of you, and are left behind with your loved ones in your memory.
MJB
-One thing in life is absolute for all of us. We're born, we live, and then we die. We take nothing with us, and leave only one thing behind that truly is a part of us, and that is our memory-
And for me, that is a big deal....So big in fact, that I've laid awake stressing at night since I was a little kid because I know that someday, I will no longer have the luxury of being around my loved ones because inevitably we all must go. And maybe that's why I try so hard not to connect with people, because goodbyes are something that I can't cope with.
I think about death often. I think about what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I still want to do before my time is up. Although this familiar sadness flooding my mind, should drive me to show those around me how I feel about them, it seems a rare moment that I actually allow myself the time to enjoy those things, those people that I hold dear to my heart. I pass them by, I meet their needs, I communicate with them often, but rarely ever do I really express my love and appreciation for them.
I realized today, that my baby will soon be one year old. I don't know where her life has gone, but one thing I do know is that I've missed so much of the joy and connection I should have had because of my drive to provide a better life for her. But is that better really? A parent who is never home in the hopes of keeping her children from suffering?
I don't know. But I do know that every day I'm alive, I want to try to be a better person than I was the day before. I want to take it all in, and I want to be a blessing, not a bother, to the people that are with me.
Life is All Surreal.
It passes to quickly, and nothing is absolute. Make your choices wisely because you're not the only one who is going to feel the effects of them - they become a part of you, and are left behind with your loved ones in your memory.
MJB
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