When Do Men Grow Up?

Flatulence causes an eruption of laughter:

At breakfast this morning. My husband was showing off his new physique, as he's lost 30 pounds over the last 3 months and is working hard to loose more. He told the children to "look," promptly flexed his muscles and squatted, simultaneously farting.

I'd like to say it was an accident, but he's a man - so I know that this was planned. Men forget, that children mimic anything they find to be funny, and so often I suffer the results to follow my husbands inappropriate show of humor. Yes before breakfast ended, my oldest son took a body builder's form while standing in his chair at the table, and mimicked his father's earlier display of flatulence.

It isn't only men who find humor in such things. I'll share a story about a young girl from about 10 years ago.

Although her picture much resembles me, this is definitely not a story about me. . .

This girl was the middle daughter of 3, her father having no sons, he raised her like a son, teaching her to hunt, fish, cop-a-squat in the woods, play sports relentlessly, and of course she was well trained in the skills of belching and farting.

She continued on in these learned abilities through her teenage years, at which point she found the element of surprise produced amazing reactions.

In high school if the boy next to her was irritating, it simply took one loud belch when the teacher had his head turned, and the boy would be sent to detention. She never lied. She fully took the blame for every belch, but as she was petite, and feminine in appearance the teacher always believed she was trying to keep the boy from going to detention by blaming herself.

She tells a very funny story about clearing a classroom with one passing of the wind, and the only classmate to realize who it was, was the victim who was given the blame.

Now I would never take part in activities such as burping and farting, but in the name of funny, I will share her hallmark moment here:

As she moved along into adulthood life began to change and her sister got married. This new brother-in-law was always bragging up gross stories of pranks he and his friends played on one another, involving feces. Before this point she had worked abroad as a model, and had kept this petite physique and style, so the brother-in-law - not knowing her well - was very unsuspecting that she, could out talent he, in his proclaimed poop-pranking.

So it happened, that one day, as the girl stopped by her sisters house, the brother-in-law was home and the girl needed to use the facilities. She went up stairs and did her duty, upon returning down she told her brother-in-law, "I think the toilet might be clogged?"

Let me inform you here, she purposely "forgot" to flush the toilet, and lets just say, her piping seems to be quite efficient for one of any size.

After the girl informed her brother-in-law of the toilet troubles, he skipped upstairs to see what the problem was. The girl listened intently to his skipping footsteps, smiling when they came to a jerking halt. There was a silence that spanned for a mini eternity. He didn't move, he didn't speak, he had no idea what to do.

Finally the girl broke down and began laughing hysterically. At which point the brother-in-law peaked his head around the corner. He looked like he'd seen a ghost, when he asked "What is that? . . . Is that real?" He received no answer from his sister-in-law, for she was rolling on the floor laughing, but her sister replied. "Oh G**. What'd she do, leave one of those giant godzilla logs in the toilet?" She then looked at the girl - her sister - and said "Can't you do that at your own house?"

Yes, a hero is never praised in his own home town, but this was simply a friendly jester, from one pooping prankster to another.

Life is All Surreal. It passes quickly, so make the best of it, and NEVER believe everything your told,

MJB