All Surreal

My Life As it Pertains to Me part 4: Ending of One Phase and Onto Another.

2012-01-12T13:44:00.001-08:00

At the end of the last story I'd just had my 7th child, was living in the unfinished church house, and my husband and I had been running a construction company for the duration of our marriage.

It is during this next point of the story, that all of the hardships I'd previously encountered in life suddenly seemed easy when looking back from the new place I was in.

At the end of 2008 when our country's economy crashed, construction dried up overnight, which left us jobless and penniless. At the time, my husband had been working with a friend ( who is an amazing, amazing person) at designing a new product and bringing it to market. So now, with no work to do and no luck finding a job, we jumped in feet first and started working what seemed like 24 hours a day to launch this new product and start up a new company. Child number 7 was actually born just one week before our first big trade show.

For the next two years, this new business basically consumed our lives. My husband was gone traveling to promote the company for what accumulated to almost six months out of the year, and while he was on the road, I took care of all the day to day business by myself.

During this time, it was a constant scramble for us to stay afloat. The company was not at a place it could support us yet, and with all of the responsibilities it brought, (not to mention the seven children that needed caring for) neither my husband or I were able to take on another job. I cashed out a life insurance policy, and we did everything possible to stay afloat personally, but supporting a family of 9 on no income proved to be just as difficult as it would seem.

Any amount of pride that was left within my being was ripped out during this time, as I realized there was nothing that I would not do to feed my children, and be sure that we at least were able to keep the power on. We went through a period where our power and phones were constantly on the brink of being shut off, we had no money for food, and definitely couldn't afford to buy even the necessities for our children.

When we were hungry, I learned what the food bank was. When we were in need I prayed; I prayed for everything. I prayed for a new washer when ours broke (twice) and a working one showed up. I prayed for shoes for my kids and was blessed with just enough money to buy them. I prayed for everything from bunk beds that we desperately needed to food for our pets, and we always seemed to be blessed with just enough to get us through. There was never an abundance, and our needs were never met too late, but my prayers were almost always answered moments before it was too late.

I remember crying often, alone in my room where my kids could not know I was struggling to keep them warm, clothed, and fed: and I still remember specific points of desperation that ultimately changed who I am - removing any judgement, self righteousness, and criticism, I previously had towards other people. I learned that no matter how hard a person works, they can't always control the outcome of a situation. And I experienced miracle after miracle that provided for my family in what felt like the face of defeat.

One moment during this time stands out in my mind above the rest, and although it was not at all a miracle, it was a beautiful act of kindness from one of my children that made me realize how affected they were by the state of poverty we were living in, and in a good way.

Number 3 and 4 had worn holes in their only pair of shoes to the point that they were no longer adequate to wear. We didn't have a dime to our name, and were trying to find a solution to the no shoe problem. Our oldest daughter was aware of the situation at hand, and she approached me later in the day with $10 she had saved from her birthday. It was all she had, and she offered it to me to buy shoes for her younger brother and sister. You wouldn't think $10 would buy two new pairs of shoes, but I went to the right place and searched, finding only two pairs of shoes that were $5 each, and just happened to be the perfect size for the two in need. I am still touched by the compassion of my daughter, and have realized since then, that our children (and myself) learned so many valuable lessons of love while were were living in need, that it was worth the pain that we felt while going through it.

We became closer as a family, and more compassionate towards others. And I learned that happiness comes from within - not through things.

It was half way through this two year period of financial struggles that I suddenly ended up enrolled in school for film - with 7 children at home. It doesn't make any form of logical sense, but the way it all fell together at the time did. I can't say enough, how blessed I feel to be studying the art that I'm passionate about, in the hopes that I can enjoy a career in it that will not only provide for my family financially - but will show my children that where there is a will there is a way, and anything is possible if you set your mind to it.

At 29 years old with 7 children at home, and not a dime to my name (literally) I was attending college for the first time. My tuition was completely paid for that first year (and has continued to be) but the school was located 90 miles away and it was everything I could do to find the money needed to get there and back each week....which is where I'll pick up in part 5 of this story.

If you've missed the first few portions of "My Life as it Pertains to me" Here they are:

My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 1

I'd love to hear from you - whether you hate my life, love it, or have been touched by it, but mostly I just enjoy the therapy of writing about it.

For now,

Life is All Surreal. If you have a dream - seek it out, because it's not going to come calling your name.

My Life as it Pertains to Me Part 3: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes the Baby in The Baby Carriage.....

2012-01-08T14:28:00.001-08:00

.....or seven to be exact. At least that's all the further we will be at the end of this blog.

So, we left off with me just returning home from working as a model in Tokyo - 18 years of age. I stepped of a plane into Oregon just two days before Christmas, 1998. The holiday, and New Year were a blurr of jet lag, and intense questions from every angle about my recent trips and my upcoming marriage. Being a VERY private person, this was basically torture.

I had had enough traveling for a while and was ready to be a homebody for a good long time - its a good thing, because although I didn't know it at the time, the next ten years would consist of cleaning house and having babies, mostly getting out only to visit family and do the grocery shopping.

In February I was married to the man I'd been in a relationship with for three years. He was a bit older, 26 to be exact, and I'd met him at.....well, he was my youth pastor. Odd as that seems now, it seemed exactly the right step to take at the time, and I still believe it was.

Our marriage, like many, didn't start off to amazingly. We got pregnant on the honeymoon, and returned home to our one of a kind church of a house - which consisted of a rotten roof sitting on walls stripped down to the studs. There wasn't even a kitchen, but there was a tub - and that's where I did the dishes for the first three months or so. The plan was to fix the place up into a house and sell it. (NOTE to reader: We still live there, and although it's still a work in progress, it is much more than a rotten roof on studs, and even has a decent kitchen :)

I, being young and in love, wanted to spend all of my time with my new husband - and he, being older and having grown accustomed to being single, was too busy working and doing the things he liked best to attend to my wants and needs. I was 18, pregnant, and alone, with nothing to do but sit at home and wish I were somewhere else.

(In all fairness to him - I was a bit of a spoiled brat at this point in my life, so I don't blame him for not wanting to be around much.)

And Then...

...Our Family Began to Grow

And Grow...

And Grow Some More...

Between November 1999 and December 2008, we had seven children - and for the first six years and five children of that, the old church house had no means of heat. So for 9 months out of the year we all lived in one unfinished bedroom, that we desperately tried to heat with a space heater. We did everything in there; sleep, live, and eat our meals.

Its amazing for me now, to think of what I went through then, to make a meal for our family. It consisted of me cooking in our unheated kitchen - which was so cold during the winter months that I could not feel my fingers by the time I'd finished the meal - upon which I returned to our bedroom, laid a blanket on what floor space was left between all of the beds and dressers, then sat on the floor with our family treating the blanket like a table, and we ate. Generally we ate right out of the pans, because the thought of carting all those dishes back and forth from bedroom to cold kitchen, and then washing them in the cold was unbearable. I'd like to say these were the hardest times of our lives, but being such a stubborn person, it was going to take even more to break the prideful person that I was (don't worry I'll tell you all about it in part 3 of this series.)

During these 10 years of marriage and babies my husband and I owned and operated a small construction company. At the time, I thought we were poor. But now, looking back, I realize we just didn't have nice things. We were able to pay the bills for the most part, and we always had food on the table. I would later learn what "poor" really meant.

I want to point out here, that I am not whining or complaining about the random paths of my life thus far - in actuality I am incredibly thankful for them, and wouldn't trade them for anything. I have become such a better person because of the things I've been through - and during the midst of it, I was never aware that it was not easy - because it was a challenge to overcome, and I live for overcoming challenges.

I feel as if this portion of my story would not be complete if I did not share with you the motherly pain I experienced over my son Titus.

Titus was a beautiful baby, who at birth weighed 12 lbs (that's huge for those of you not versed in the typical weight of newborns). To me, he was perfect and normal. He had a few small issues in the hospital after his delivery, but nothing that wasn't quickly patched up through and IV and medication.

We brought him home, and loved him, and at 2 weeks of age, he got very ill, so he and I returned to the hospital where he was kept on IVs and respirators for the next 8 days. It was during that 8 day stay, that our pediatrician came to me and told me that he thought Titus had a genetic disorder...something called Beckwith-Wiedemann. I'd never heard of the disease, but didn't really care, because all I could think of while he spoke was: My son is perfect, my son is perfect, I'm not going to cry, he will be fine. The doctor proceeded to tell me that children with Beckwith-Wiedemann often times suffer from mental retardation, and those with hemihyperplasia (which Titus had) had a very high risk of contracting cancer of the liver, or wilms tumor in the kidney. Both are cancers with no symptoms, and are very aggressive. Because of this, from the time he was born until the age of 4, he experienced a blood draw every 6 weeks, and from birth until 7, he was due for an ultrasound every 12 weeks.

Now I know there are parents out there, that have gone through sooo much more with their children, and my heart truly goes out to them. I'm not looking for sympathy with my story - but rather trying to share the person I am because of what I've been through personally.

For the duration of Titus's first 7 years of life, I refused to treat him as anything but a perfectly functioning little boy. I felt that if I treated him like he was perfectly normal then he would be perfectly normal. We made sure to give him every opportunity to do everything that our other children did, and at a very young age, he and Beth (our daughter who is 14 months his elder) became very close friends, which helped Titus to grow immensely.

Never once during this did I cry or whine or even worry that he may contract cancer, or be mentally slow, but then......

Titus turned 7.

The testing stopped.

And he was Perfect!

Suddenly all the emotions that I had refused to allow myself feel for so long surfaced. I became an emotional wreck any time I spoke about Titus - and I could commonly be caught crying uncontrollably in my car. I cried all the tears of fear that as a mother I should have cried when he was sick. The tears I refused to cry when I was hooking him up to respirators for months at home while he was an infant. The tears and fear I refused to experience when I carted 5, and 6, and 7 children with me to have his blood drawn and his ultrasounds done for seven years. And the tears of fear I should have cried to think that my child would likely be retarded, and possibly even die as a young boy.

That's a lot of tears to catch up on. But mostly I cried because my little boy was okay, and was going to be okay and that made me so happy. Titus is still doing great, and will be eight this coming March. :)

As many of you know, we now have 8 beautiful babies, but the eighth isn't born until the the third part of this story. For now this is where we'll end.

Life is All Surreal.

Trials and suffering build character in a person, they may be hard to experience, but the good things in life wouldn't be so pleasant if you'd never experienced any pain.

MJB

My life as it Pertains to Me Part 2: Elite Contests, Graduation, and Los Angeles

2012-01-06T14:15:00.001-08:00

Knowing where one comes from gives understanding of who they are
and what they are going to be.

My reasons for starting College at 29, and pursuing a degree in film stem from a much younger self just graduated from high school, so that's where I'll begin, but let me warn you, it's a 3 blog story.

When I was 16 years old, I was standing outside a mall on a sidewalk and had a fashionably dressed woman walk up and hand me a business card telling me I had a lovely jaw-line, and should call her. I laughed about her comments the rest of the day with my friends, but rushed home that night to measure my height (you have to be 5'8" minimum as a fashion model) and called her within days) I had dreamed of modeling, and acting from the time I was a young child, but thought it an impossibility growing up in a tiny logging town Oregon.

Soon I was testing, and being promoted by a "mother agent" to markets around the world, I took accelerated courses that fall as a Senior in High School, in case I was to get a placement with an agent elsewhere, and entered "Elite Modeling Competition" a few months before graduation.

I won the local competition, and went on to win the regional competition, and took a 1 week trip to Los Angeles in the spring to meet with my new agent "Elite Models," and attend several go-sees and castings. I returned home, graduated from high school at 17 years of age in 1998 (yes I'm that old), and two days later I moved to L.A. with a fellow model.

The first gig I ever booked was the cover of Teen Magazine, and all I have to say about that is hindsight's a b****. Two days before the shoot, I questioned my agent about the double booking, for there were two more rounds (national and world) of the Elite Modeling competition, and the first was on the same day as the Teen Magazine shoot.

They, of course, advised me to continue with their competition (the winner getting a $50,000 modeling contract) and so I did, but was only runner up, so would have fared much better with a magazine cover in my book, but such is life.

I worked in LA for a few months, for clients like K-mart, and The Beauty Handbook, nothing extravagant really. My then boyfriend made a trip to LA, during which he proposed, so I returned home for several months to prepare for a wedding.

That fall I was placed with an agency in Tokyo, I lived there for two months, made almost $20,000 working for clients like Shisheido, and Japanese Amway (yes, there is Amway in Japan), and other small catalog work I don't remember the names of. I filled my contract and came home with.... well not much of anything, as my agency took a 50% fee and the other half of my earnings paid all of my travel and living expenses for that time. I never could get my agency to send me tear pages, but below are some of my photos from Tokyo.

Then I got married, which is blog #2 of this story.

Life is All Surreal. When you look back at the tangled paths that have led to where you are, it all begins to make sense.

MJB

My Life as it Pertains to Me: Part 1

2012-01-06T13:32:00.000-08:00

Previous to making the decision to go to school in an attempt to get my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Digital Film and Video, I was a blogger. I blogged about the craziness of raising 7 kids, and was working on a social networking experiment (which I've since dropped).

After making the decision to go to school for Film I have blogged about.......well pretty much nothing. But I MISS BLOGGING.

Soooo.

I've decided to start anew, with a bit of a different twist to disprove the illusion that my peers have of me that I am "mysterious" and that "no on knows anything about me."

I am going to record the progress of my life since starting college - chronologically of course - and the steps I've made towards pursuing my passion. In reality this blog is for me, so that someday I can look back at where I began, and see how life has changed.

So we'll start with the past, and move quickly to the present. And hopefully finish with success.

For now...

Life is All Surreal. Take it by the horns, before it takes you.

MJB

Utopia

2011-12-05T21:35:00.000-08:00

A short film that I am producing locally in Portland, Oregon. Check it out!

One Thing For Sure

2011-10-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

While folding laundry this afternoon, a common thought began to pass through my mind, bringing an oh so familiar sadness.

-One thing in life is absolute for all of us. We're born, we live, and then we die. We take nothing with us, and leave only one thing behind that truly is a part of us, and that is our memory-

And for me, that is a big deal....So big in fact, that I've laid awake stressing at night since I was a little kid because I know that someday, I will no longer have the luxury of being around my loved ones because inevitably we all must go. And maybe that's why I try so hard not to connect with people, because goodbyes are something that I can't cope with.

I think about death often. I think about what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I still want to do before my time is up. Although this familiar sadness flooding my mind, should drive me to show those around me how I feel about them, it seems a rare moment that I actually allow myself the time to enjoy those things, those people that I hold dear to my heart. I pass them by, I meet their needs, I communicate with them often, but rarely ever do I really express my love and appreciation for them.

I realized today, that my baby will soon be one year old. I don't know where her life has gone, but one thing I do know is that I've missed so much of the joy and connection I should have had because of my drive to provide a better life for her. But is that better really? A parent who is never home in the hopes of keeping her children from suffering?

I don't know. But I do know that every day I'm alive, I want to try to be a better person than I was the day before. I want to take it all in, and I want to be a blessing, not a bother, to the people that are with me.

Life is All Surreal.

It passes to quickly, and nothing is absolute. Make your choices wisely because you're not the only one who is going to feel the effects of them - they become a part of you, and are left behind with your loved ones in your memory.

MJB

Oh, the point of things...

2011-09-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

It's funny how at certain points in our life we think we've got it all figured out. We think we know the answers - whether we believe in science, evolution, religion, or just mankind. But if each of us would truly step back and look at the larger scope of things, I think we would all be able to agree on one thing; man has never, and will never, know what the purpose of our life on earth.

I don't understand why we've been placed here, or what purpose our short lives have in the scope of eternity and the vastness of all that has been created (which is so much more than my mind can even begin to fathom) But I do know, that the way I act today, is going to effect somebody else tomorrow. Maybe that somebody is a close friend of mine, or a husband, wife, son or daughter. Or maybe they're just a stranger or a neighbor, or not even human at all. Maybe, they haven't even been born yet. Regardless - who I am and what I do, will make a difference in the lives of people that follow me.

That is a big responsibility, and it has so many hard choices. If life could just be full of absolutes and situations with clear outcomes, it would be so much easier. But from my experience, easy outcomes and easy lives generate boring, unimportant people. Every Biography I've ever read tells a story of a person who stood up in the face of defeat, or overcame against all odds, because they were passionate about something they believed in. They knew that their lives and their actions were going to effect those to follow, and they chose to make a difference in a way that mattered to them.

I don't want to waste my life away, wondering "what if...I'd pursued my passion?" "what if...I'd taken that risk?" Because you can never find the answer to a what if, but there will always be an outcome to an "I did". There is so much satisfaction in knowing that at least you tried, and even more when you don't give up. We only get to live life once, and I definitely want to live it to the fullest. I know I'll make mistakes, and I hope I can deal with the outcomes, but I'm not gonna sit around in fear of what those mistakes may be, cuz if I do, I'll likely never start living.

Life is All Surreal. Don't take it lightly - do something with it before it's gone.

MJB

Kid's Comic Emails

2011-06-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

A mother of eight, I insist that my children are schooled from home until at least High School. However, being a college student myself, keeping up with planning lessons and finding curriculum can be a bit of a challenge. For that reason, I decided to put my older three children into an online school this year (which has plenty of stress on its own).

If you are not familiar with what online school is, basically, they ship curriculum computers etc. to my front door, then there is an online planner that tells me what to teach my kids everyday. They also have "teachers" (as I am now labeled the "learning coach" even though I am doing the majority of the teaching), and there are interactive courses, games, and online lessons with their real live teachers two times a week.

So, now that you know what online school is, I can share the comic info I came here to give you.

Any time one of my children emails one of their teachers, I automatically get a copy. Twice this year, I laughed so hard I about fell out of my chair. It almost made me envious of the teachers, as they must get a good laugh out of what their students write, quite often:

First, child #3 (a second grader) sent this to her teacher. To get the full effect, you really must sound it out, and read ouloud:

The subject line read: moltbcashin

The body read:
techer i now tims now and a lot of it hir wash this 31x2=62 see im good hers a nother oun 40x2=80 10x2=20 thats pretey much oll i now on tims but i oso now adishon hyirs a copol 32+32=64 32+42=74 70+12=82 but iy oso now subtraxshin hyirs a copol 12-12=0 32-11=21 well thats all yor stodint (child #3's name, spelled correctly, thankfully.)

And yesterday, I got a copy of this message that our oldest daughter(11) sent to her teacher, after receiving a message that her teacher had intended to send to another little boy another good laugh:

dear miss ____________ I believe you sent this k-mail to the wrong person because as far as i know my name is not billy thanks

Well, at least they know their names, which means I'm not failing completely...I hope.

Life is All Surreal. Don't let the stress of what's at hand keep you from enjoying the happiness that it also has to offer.

MJB

Pure Joy

2011-03-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

So often in life we allow the things around us to choke out the joy that can be experienced by simply being grateful for what we do have.

It always amazes me how easy it can be to get angry, frustrated, or grumpy about something - these aren't emotions that most of us have to strive to experience. My question is why then do we sometimes have to work so hard to experience happiness and joy?

I believe the answer for many people is we are trying to find happiness in the wrong things. Media would have us believe that that new boat, clean house, perfect body, or new hair treatment are going to make us happier than we will be just as we are. How many people out there have tried time and again to find happiness in worldly possessions and superficial looks just to wind up feeling empty once again looking for another item to fill that void.

True happiness is not something that you can buy, or even create - it's a choice. It's a choice to look at the good rather than the bad. It's the choice one makes in the morning not to notice how poorly the kids washed the table (and the dishes) but instead to sit back and enjoy them laughing and playing with one another as you drink that third cup of coffee. It's the choice to laugh at your husband wrestling with the 170lb puppy in the living room while the toddlers try desperately to join in to the fun, regardless of what else they should be doing. It's a conscious decision to tell yourself that everything will be okay even in the face of defeat, and the choice to push through regardless of what those around you are saying.

If there is one thing I learned long ago it was never to let the critics get to you - especially if you aren't living a typical life. People often get bored with their own lives, and rather than improve them, they will lash out at yours as a means of entertainment.

So...I challenge you this week whenever you begin to feel that overwhelming fear, anger, embarrassment - whatever your struggling emotion may be - take a deep breath and begin to remind yourself all the things you are thankful for, both large and small. And if you find your not enjoying life enough don't look outward to fill that void, look inside - figure out what desires you're suppressing and start pursuing your passions.

and remember...

Life is All Surreal. Dreams don't last forever, don't let yours pass away with out truly living.

MJB

Nine Months

2010-11-26T12:53:00.000-08:00

I have hopes of never again being pregnant. I say this with optimism of feeling like a normal person for more than two months before entering "the dead zone" or perhaps it's the Bermuda triangle, again. One thing I know for sure - Pregnancy effects a woman in more ways than one.

There is the obvious physical aspect of it, so many changes, but what is worse is the hormonal part.

Your brain begins to shut down - this is so that you do not become delirious as you approach the ever painful labor.

(Yes they have drugs to prevent one from feeling the pain, but I've never experienced the drugs myself.)

This "delirious" state is necessary in order for a woman ever to have sex again after giving birth.

It also seems that after the birth, the new set of hormonal changes administer a memory wipe, in effect.
If they did not - again - the woman would never again have sex.

Although my comments are poisoned with sarcasm, there inevitably is some truth to the above thoughts.

That being said, I am posting an image at nine months pregnant. This tool should help remind me over the next year how much I like my waist and want to keep it - for good.

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

Puzzling

2010-11-22T19:38:00.001-08:00

Our Beautiful Children Earlier This Year

2010-11-19T17:22:00.001-08:00

The Newest Addition

2010-09-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

Our family got a new puppy this week, and I had to do a "Documentary" project for class (in a day) so we are sharing our naming process.

Enjoy!

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

The Oh So Social Internet..?

2010-08-02T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hello. To those of you who know me, or have read my blog before, I'm sure you know a few basic facts about me.

1. I am a mother of 7 (soon to be more)
2. I am a wife (good thing since I have seven kids)
3. For some reason we choose to add chickens, dogs, and cats to the seven kids we have.
4. I run a business with my husband

and

5. Last fall I decided to go to college - I have nothing else to do after all, why not?

You'll notice if you browse through the articles on this page, they greatly decreased after I went back to school - out of necessity in keeping what little sanity I had.

I have desperately missed blogging, which by my definition is removing old thoughts from my head, so I have room for some new ones. NOTE: I have to do this with messages in my phone also...so you understand why I miss it, right?

I haven't only been away from blogging But I have been away from social networking all together. Social networking...hmm. Really is the Internet a way to socialize? or more of a tool to stalk your friends family...and enemies? Either way, it's an outlet I both miss, but have been glad to be without too.

Enough of that internet randomness, now onto the the thought I came here wanting to share:

A few days ago...(the magical beginning of our story - felling it?)

My husband, the children, and I were returning home from a picnic on a gorgeous summer afternoon with his extended family- the kids were sleeping, and the drive was along some very scenic country roads. I was in a white strapless summer dress, and he was in a pale blue button down shirt with khaki shorts.

The children had all fallen asleep in the car which resulted in a few rare moments of silence. A few moments of silence where I was able to step back and evaluate life.

During those moments I simply looked at my husband and smiled. I smiled because I love him, I smiled because I am thankful for the beautiful children God has given us together, I smiled because although I desperately did not want to become pregnant again after #5, and #7, God blessed me anyway (and I wouldn't change it for anything). But mostly I smiled because I it's moments like this; when all the stress of life is not at the forefront, that I am able to sit back and realize how truly happy I am.

Sure there's lots that needs to be done, and some of it yesterday, and yeah the cats dying and someone needs staples in their head, but in the scope of life, those are just scratches on the surface...right?

I'll tell myself that anyway, for now

Life is All Surreal. I only wish the screaming child next to me would just go to bed and see it that way.

MJB

Babysitter sabotage

2010-05-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

Recent Photography - St. Mary's Church in Mt. Angel

2010-04-01T14:56:00.001-07:00

Here are some photograph's I took of St. Mary's church in Mount Angel.

Life is All Surreal.

Monica

Welcome 2010

2009-12-31T14:03:00.000-08:00

I'll admit I'm not one for New Years resolutions. However I do believe it is good to take a breather every now and again to reflect on your life - where you've been and where your going. What better time to do so than while bringing in the new year.

I always love something new because it means change, but change is scary and takes some adjusting. This year, that is where I have been, in change, for we have had a year full of new phases in life.

For the first time in a decade, I'm not pregnant or nursing and I don't have any children under the age of one. I will admit, this is an incredible relief but at the same time, it's a little sad to think you're ending one phase of life and moving on to the next. I'm nervous for my kids to grow, but looking forward to the freedom that will come with their maturity.

At 29 I'm attending college for the first time. Better late than never I suppose, and although this decision came about for many reasons, the main drive behind it is my passion to write/create films that make people think about life. Now although that is a goal that lies somewhere in my distant future - I believe we are meant to fulfill our passions and know I would never feel settled if I hadn't at least tried.

Off to new beginnings and the hopes of a brighter future. I think I have learned more about business, and manufacturing this year than I ever thought I would know. Although the ride has been rough, I have enjoyed it immensely, and am glad that my husband and I are beginning to see the results of much hard work and determination.

I don't know what 2009 meant for you, but would love to hear. And as far as 2010 goes - well I suppose something new is a chance for a fresh start.

Life is All Surreal. Make it what you want, now is your only chance.

MJB

Oh Christmas Tree.

2009-12-28T14:54:00.001-08:00

Before all the Tears Run Dry - by Nat Graves

2009-12-14T22:25:00.001-08:00

My husband is an amazing songwriter.

Posted via web from All's posterous

Interesting lipstick?

2009-11-25T13:23:00.000-08:00

Here, is our just-turned-4 daughter. Evidently at four, you are ready to start wearing make-up. But being that mom's make-up is off limits, one must be creative in their choice of materials to use.

This is my rational of why a child would paint their face, teeth, arm and clothing black. I'm hoping, she was exaggerated in her placement because of a lack of fine motor skills and not in mimickry of my make-up application.

Oh, by the way. At four you should also begin to cut your own hair. Right?

Life is All Sureal. Capture the moment while it lasts, and don't sweat the small stuff. After all, memories are made from such moments.

MJB

November Break

2009-11-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

Wanted to let you readers know, I haven't stopped blogging, I've just taken a short break for the month of November, recently I decided to start school for digital film and video at the Art Institute of Portland for various reasons. This being the first month of school - amongst kids, homeschool, housework, and a business to run, I am needing a little time to work out the scheduling kinks. I'm hoping to start blogging again in December, which in all reality probably translates into February or March.

Life is All Surreal. It's never to late to pursue your passion!

MJB

Just a Roll in the Hay

2009-10-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I crazily helped chaperone 12 kids – 7 which were my own - to an insanely large, and normally busy pumpkin patch.

Here's my recount of the day:

We arrived, and checked out the scene, letting the kids play on and in castles built of hay and more (okay, I'll admit, I played a little too). Animals were pet, walls were scaled, and all went well from 9 til lunch.

Even then, nothing went truly wrong.

I pretended to “simply be accompanying” my three year old up the ladder to ride the zip line. But secretly I really just wanted to ride it myself.

Here I am below, faking that she needs me. Yeah, I think the kids in orange has got me figured, but he let me ride anyway.

It was after the zip line, that I was conned into helping some of the older kids navigate a rather large dark maze. I did take into consideration my fear of the dark, and slight claustrophobia. Yet against my better judgment I consented.

A dark maze, evidently, is true to name: Dark. So I spent the next hour and thirty minutes, blind, attempting to find my way through a blur of tunnels and paths constructed from hay, and covered overhead with some material that prevents the sunlight from coming in.

I'd add a picture, but all you would see is black.

Apparently too much darkness can affect ones judgment, because it was after this that I randomly suggested we play hide and seek in this garden. I was it, and it wasn't til I had counted to 10 that I realized telling 12 kids, (many under the age of 6) to “run and hide” in a public place while my eyes are closed probably isn't the best of ideas.

Don't worry, we found them all, safe and sound.

After 6 hours of Pumpkin patching, I was ecstatic to hear we were going to SIT on some hay bales, and ride out to the patch where the children were to pick their favorite garden treats to take home.

This is the form I took once we got there.

If I remember correctly this the precise moment that my 3 year old chose to inform me that she has to go number 2. Lovely, since the bathrooms are now ½ mile away.

Yes I'm slouching, but you would be to had you worn that baby on your front for 6 hours prior.

And this? Well, I just thought it was cute. Child # 7, a game piece on a chess board.

And that was my day. I'd love to hear about yours.

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

Posted via web from All's posterous

Suds in the Toilet, Good for Thought?

2009-10-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, bubble bath in the toilet. Isn't that normal?

Recently my two year old reminded me how important the role of a parents is.

It was cleaning day, and as I'm a focused person, I did not notice her as she intently watched me place cleaner in the toilet. After doing so, I left the bathroom to let it sit, and when I returned?

There she was with a half gallon of bath bubbles pouring them in ever so carefully, creating a lovely sudsy mess when it was flushed.

So often, we expect our children to grow into adulthood, becoming what we want them to be. But the reality is most children, although unique, much resemble their parents in adulthood.

Here is my reminder to all you parents out there. Your children adore you. They worship the ground you walk on.

That being said. You are setting the example for them as to what life is, and how one should live it.

I don't know about you, but to me that is a big deal when I consider I am shaping 7 lives.

Daily, I try and evaluate, who I am and what I live for. All I can do is my best, but I believe we should constantly be learning, and improving the people we are. Not for others, but for ourselves - and our children of course.

If this is the example we set for our little ones, their life will know no limit, for they too, will be constantly working towards being a better person.

Life is All Surreal. Don't squash your children's dreams by not living out your own.

MJB

The Way Kids Clean

2009-10-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

Even the simplist of things in life, can be complicated if we let them.

Cleaning the house with kids can be an eye opener. Sometimes it seems as if a child is willing to go through more effort to stuff an item in a corner or under a bed, than to put it away properly. This I don't understand, for in our household, if something is stuffed away - not put away - it get's pulled back out to be put away again.

This morning we started off the day with an art project in which we used paints, markers, crayons and stickers to decorate the kids' new study space dividers. Afterwards as I made lunch, I asked the kids to clean up the art supplies and place them in the art supply bucket.

Now being that we have a nice, neat, lidded, bucket, in which all the smaller items - sorted into bins with lids - are placed, this should have been an easy task for a 5, 6, 8, and 9 year old. Oh but how I was wrong.

After giving my instructions, we proceeded on with the day.

Everyday, I make sure my house gets a clean sweep. Literally. I take a broom into all the rooms on our main level, which consist of wood and tile flooring. I sweep from the edges to the center, and anything in my way gets swept into "piles". Then each child is assigned a room, and gets to clean up their pile.

It's amazing the items, and in what amounts, I find things during this process - just 24 hours after the previous sweep.

Today I found wedged under my bed - a box of foam stickers and 4 watercolour paint sets. Evidently after our art project, it seemed like a better idea to carry these items to the other end of the house and shove them under my bed. Wouldn't it have been so much simpler just to set them neatly in their right place? If I could only convince the child, who stuffed them under my bed of this.

Yes every day I marvel at the mind of a child, some days I'm in awe of their innocence and livelihood, others, their thought process.

Life is All Surreal. Amazement can be so versatile.

MJB

Tell me, what's amazing in your life lately?

Nick Brandt Photography

2009-10-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Recently, I came across some amazing photographs online. I followed them, and was pleased to find more on their home site; NickBrandt.com.

I love both animals and black and white photos, so to me, Nick Brandt's Photography is absolute perfection. He demonstrates the amazing ability to capture the animals of East Africa in what he calls, "the state of being," along with the breath-taking land and sky-scapes, that surround his subjects.

Nick began photographing the native life of East Africa in the early 2000's, pursuing a desire to express his passion for animals. His work has been on display in Europe, The United States, and Australia. Though he was raised in England, Nick and his wife currently reside in California.

For upcoming exhibitions, click here.

You can visit the Nick Brandt website to view more of his collection.

Buy his prints at Photo-eye Gallery.

Also Nick's work has been composed into breathtaking books which can be purchased on Amazon.com, and Barnes & Noble.com.

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

Fall Nostalgia

2009-09-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

I love Autumn! From the crisp clean morning air, to the colors of the falling leafs, it is my favorite time of year.

As a child, we heated our home with a wood stove. Now every year when the house begins to feel a bit chilled in the morning, I feel a little butterfly stir in my stomach, knowing that any day we are going to begin burning the wood stove. I love the smell, I love the penetrating heat, I even enjoy keeping the fire going. (And watching my cute husband chop firewood.)

In remembrance of being young, and the traits, memories and the like that get passed from one generation to the next, I have put together some photos from my childhood, with similar scenes of my children. Enjoy!

At the beach.

Bathtime.

Favorite pastime on the swing set.

Hiking on old logging roads.

Make believe in a land locked boat.

Carosaul rides.

Same dog. (almost)

Life is All Surreal. It passes too quickly, enjoy it while it lasts.

MJB

Buzz and Bebo

2009-09-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

This week the social network sites that I tried, were Buzz and Bebo.

Buzz
Buzz is a news feed site affiliated with Yahoo. If you have a Yahoo account, you can sign up. Then you are able to submit news stories you find online, comment on other stories, and "Buzz up" or "Buzz down" stories that other people have submitted. You can easily find friends that are using Buzz, who are contacts in your current email account. Or you can add other people to your network, if you are interested in the stories they have submitted. Their stories will then be added to your news feed.

Of all the news feed sites I've tried so far, Buzz looks the most professional, and I didn't find any technical difficulties. The biggest downfall to me was that I had to sign up for a Yahoo account, which meant setting up a new "yahoo" email. Something I had absolutely no need for, except to try out Buzz. The one thing I liked about the Yahoo account was that you could link many other online accounts to it, and your updates show on your Profile page.

Overall my thoughts about Buzz are. If you already have a Yahoo account, and you're thinking about joining an online network with a news feed, Buzz is great! If you sign up, you can find me at All Surreal.

Bebo
The second social networking site I tried this week was Bebo.

This site was probably more uncomfortable for me than any of the others, because it is truly a social networking site. The format is much like that of Myspace, Friendster, and Facebook. It's a site where you set up a profile page, which tells about you, has pictures and info about you, and you can even "decorate" your layout. You can add widgets & applications, take quizzes, join groups, etc. Once you add your friends, (and they accept you) you can comment on their pages, and send them personal messages.

You are able to search their databse for people who are in your contact list of your current email. But once again, most of my friends - like me - are very un-technologically-social.

The main focus of Bebo, other than connecting with friends, seems to be music, videos, and music videos. None of these are things that I personally enjoy viewing, or searching through online, and being that the majority of Bebo members were a decade younger than I, this site felt purely awkward.

All in all, if you're a young music and video lover, and have a lot of friends online, you'll probably love Bebo. If you're old and dull like me; steer clear. I do have an account, and if you sign up, feel free to befriend me, as I'm feeling quite lonely and friendless. Just search All Surreal, or click here.

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

A Story Long Waiting To Be Told

2009-09-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

I brought home a puppy as a gift for my husband - completely against his will - about 3 years ago.

She did nothing but lie around for the first few days, and was just too sweet. Although she was quick to potty train, I have one vivid memory of a mishap that affected my husband in the worst way.

Our 5th child had just turned 1 year old when I brought the new puppy, Rebel, home. 1 is that lovely age, where a child is into everything, and our 5th was an especially big mess maker.

We live in an unfinished church/house, where my husband and I share the large walk-in closet that is located in our kids' room. In turn our walk-in closet has been converted to a toy room that is under lock and key. Yes I tend to be a bit of a control freak. I actually try and make my kids check out their toys, but that's a story for a whole other day.

I bring up the closet in the kids' room because our one year old, felt she had the daily duty to enter that closet and "clean" the shelves. Her cleaning consisted of pulling out every item she could reach, and piling it all up, in a big heap, covering the carpeted closet floor. This unnerving act in itself was just about enough to do me in, let alone what is to follow.

Now is where the dog comes in. During the week or so prior to her becoming potty trained, she, like any dog, tried to hide her duties so as not to be found out.

This particular winter morning, #5 arose early, and performed her chore of "cleaning" the closet. The new pup arose not long after, and found the closet to be a perfect location to hide her "duty". Both were followed by my husband - who was running a little late for a new job - grumpily shuffling through his mess of clothes on the floor in an attempt to find what he needed to wear.

Once dressed, My other half gave us kisses and love, and dashed out the door. Just 30 seconds later he dashed back in, grabbed another pair of shoes, and on his way back out he shouted to me in the kitchen, "The dog left a mess in the closet, could you deal with that?"

I quickly cleaned up the mess, and put away the clothes - which were becoming a daily procedure in themselves - then moved on with my day. About an hour passed, when as the kids an I were settling down for school, the phone rang. It was my husband, so I picked up.

At first, I could not tell if he was angry, or laughing, and after he shared the story of his morning drive (which was only half done) I understood his mood completely.

Earlier in the morning, when he got into the car, he had smelt something and figured it must dog poop, thus the second pair of shoes. All during the first part of his drive, he kept getting whiffs of it, even after changing his shoes. Right before he called me, however, he had taken off his hat, and ran his fingers through his hair. An action that I'm sure is a common habit, but this particular time, the result was much different than any time before.

An odd chill ran down his spine, I'm sure, when to his surprise, there was some thick, soupy, goo mixed into his thick, coarse, hair. Upon pulling his hand back out, the random whiffs of dog poop were now quite clear.

You see, he hadn't stepped in dog poop on his way out, the dog had picked his hat - which had been strewn on the floor by our 1 year old - to do her duties in that morning. In my husband's rush not to be late, he did not notice the smallish size blob as he placed the hat on his head. No, he did not notice it until he habitually attempted to run his fingers through his hair.

Fortunately for him, he made this discovery just a minute or two before the only rest stop along his 2 hour drive to a job for a new customer.

Unfortunately for him this particular rest stop did not have running water, at least not the conventional kind.

It did, however, have a river nearby. A river freckled with ice, in which my husband dipped his head, running his fingers through his hair once again. This time, to clear the hair of any poop that might remain. And afterwards, he doused his head with hand sanitizer, and put on a new "poop-free" hat which had been left in his car, tossing the old one into the garbage.

And the moral of the story is? Always keep a spare hat in your car. Especially if you have a puppy/1year old combo at home. :)

Life is All surreal.

MJB

Oh. . . and as far as the dog goes. She is man's best friend, and my husband is hers. She quickly potty trained, and has a nose for birds, but you'll have to read about that in How to Teach a Bird Dog to Flush.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

2009-09-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

When you've become tired of what you're doing, should you move towards change, or complain louder and be miserable longer?

Life is All Surreal. It's up to you to make it what you want.

MJB

The mind of a 5 year old

2009-09-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

How to make a cat wait til later.

I'll share this blog from over a year ago, since today I'm feeling very uninspired.

The Mind of a 5 Year Old
This morning as our family of eight finished eating our breakfast of pancakes with strawberries and whip cream, My 8 year old came walking into the kitchen with a wide eyed, fur on edge cat.

I began to lecture her, that "Cat's don't belong in the kitchen when we're eating!"

When she panic-laughingly said. "I just found Le-Hon (oh the names they come up with) zipped in a backpack hanging on the wall"

She went on to explain how she'd heard the dog excitedly hopping around in her closet (one more place animals aren't allowed). The dog was nosing the bag and yipping; and oddly enough the bag itself was also moving.

"I thought something really scary was happening" She explained, now teary eyed from laughing while attempting to tell this story.

She went on to inform me how she mustered up the confidence to open the bag, receiving quite a surprise when out popped Le-Hon.

You may well know that my husband (and I at this point) aren't particularly fond of housing every stray cat and kitten in the neighborhood. I'll admit, after our daughter's brief description, both he, and I, burst in to hysterical laughter.

After our laughing fits had settled we did the responsible thing, and lectured the kids on how it was never okay to lock, zip or tie, animals up inside of things. We were sure to mention that this was also not something you did to a little brother or sister.

Then looking around the table at all six innocent faces I asked, "Who committed this crime?"

A question to which our 5 year old responded, "I wanted to hold him later."

Ah yes, now I remember. When breakfast began the 5 year old had come to the table with the orange - haired feline.

When she did so, I informed her, "No cats at the table. Go put him away and you can hold him when we're done."

Evidently, I should have been more careful with my choice of words. Really, she did exactly as I had said. She put the cat away - by zipping him in a bag and hanging him on a wall - so she could hold him again when breakfast was done.

I guess to a 5 year old that's how you do it. . . I wonder If it would be okay for me to reason this way?

Life is All Surreal. You can't zip, tie, or hang it up to wait for you. You have to live it right here, right now.

MJB

12 Seconds TV, TweetDeck, and Reddit

2009-09-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

This week, I tested 3 social networks, well 2 1/2. Not sure whether to start with the good or the bad, but I hate to criticize, so I'll get that out of the way first.

Reddit
I wish I could shower them with praise, but as hard as I tried to like their site, it just didn't suit me. Reddit, is much like the site Digg. It's an online news feed where people submit news, pictures, and stories, can comment on friends subscriptions, and vote for their favorites. There is a lot of crude language and humor, and appears to be no censorship. And although most of it does not offend me, I know many people whom it would.

The top stories often carry a title similar to this: If I am convicted of posessing over 30 grams of pot I am uneligible for food stamps for the rest of my life, but a convicted murderer is eligible. Which to me isn't top news, but I guess to each his own. They even have a category labeled WTF . Maybe that stands for "Where there's fun" but last I checked? It had quite another meaning.

If all this floats your boat, great, sign up for Reddit and enjoy. Look me up, here: allsurreal. Be warned, though, I won't be posting anything. After the first day using Reddit, I got an error page with every attempted submission. And although I contacted them twice asking for help? Never did they reply.

In Conclusion: Reddit is a social news feed, with a lot of crudeness, kinks, and a very poor "help" department. Not my favorite, but now your informed and can make that decision on your own.

TweetDeck.
TweetDeck is a pretty handy tool. In short, It's a program you download, that notifies and displays updates from your Myspace, Facebook, (multiple)twitter, and 12 Seconds TV. accounts. Also, you can update all these sites at once, on one submission form.

I very much liked TweetDeck, but as it is a beta, it does have a few quirks, namely, it misses the occasional update. I will continue to use this, and believe it will improve with age. Find me here: on Twitter and Facebook, or just search allsurreal.

12 Seconds TV
Lastly, I explored 12 Seconds TV. I saw this network on TweetDeck, and decided since TweetDeck in itself was not an actual network, this would be perfect for my second review of the week.

It's icon is simply the number 12. So when I clicked on the link after deciding to test it, I had no idea it would redirect me to a video site. I did feel a little flush in the face after realizing that testing this site would include me uploading videos, some which would have to be of me, but being a committed person I moved forward anyhow.

What is 12 Seconds TV?
12 Seconds TV is a social network site, where you can upload videos up to 12 seconds in length. The sign up process is quite simple, and the site runs bug free. There is an option to link your account to a Facebook page, Twitter, and Flixwagon. If you choose to do so, your videos will automatically be posted to those accounts.

You can comment on other's videos, reply to them with your own video (if you computer has an included camera), and "bump" videos you like. Other users can be easily found, and added to your network.

You can upload a video 1 of 3 ways.

Record it live with a web cam:
My laptop has a built in camera, so for me this was quite easy. 12 second TV detected the visual and audio, checked to make sure that's what I wanted to use, and I was ready to record. I pressed record, and afterwards was able review it and choose whether to post, or redo. NOTE: Before posting, ADD A TITLE. This is the only chance you have to do so. At least that I could find.

Upload a prerecorded video from your computer:
Although this process is also quite easy, it can take a little time to upload your files. I was a little confused here at first, because after you choose your file, an X is displayed where the Browse button was. I thought my file wasn't working, but I was wrong. When you see the pink X, it is ready for you to hit the Upload and Post Video button.

Send a video from your mobile phone:
Tried this this morning. It is quite easy, simply send a video text message to your personal 12 second TV number, including the + sign between the 12 and your code. The video uploads within a minute. They also have applications you can add to your phone, but I did not choose to test any of these.

All-in-all 12Seconds.TV was a fun sight. If you choose to join, you can befriend me here: AllSurreal's Channel

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

Today I Turn 29

2009-09-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

There is no better time than a birthday, to reflect on the person you have become throughout the duration of your life.

So Today, I am sharing who I am.

Lets start with this: I am me. I have no need, to try and be someone I'm not, because I am confident in who I am. My actions are not guided by the fear of what other people think. What I do, I do because it's part of who I am, and what I enjoy to be.

Make me smile & laugh, I'll be your friend.
Let me do the same for you, and you can be mine.

Hurt someone I love, become my enemy.
Treat me however you want. I won't judge, but your actions will reflect what you are inside.

Here's what I like:

*A good cup of coffee, any time of the day.

*Jack Johnson's Sleep Through the Static. If I'm tense, I hop in the car where this album never leaves the player, turn it up loud, drive, and de-stress.

*To be fit, physically and mentally. I hate to feel incapable of anything.

*Hard work. I love that sweet satisfaction of accomplishment at the end of the day.

*To be surrounded by good friends. Friends that last, are a precious thing. I'd take one good friend over a dozen others, any day.

*Family. They're yours forever, so you might as well make the time with them good.

*Laughing, loving, and being me, with my kids, my husband, and the ones I love.

I know there are, and will be, people who don't care so much for me, but I'm not living my life to please them. Most likely, I'm not to fond of them either.

We're all different, and we all have faults, I chose to believe so, and will dismiss them in hopes to find the good in another.

This is who I am. Take it, or leave it, whatever suits you best. Regardless of your thoughts, I am going to keep living, learning, and loving. In the hopes of being a better person each day.

Life is All Surreal. I wish it could last forever, but since it won't I choose to make the best of it while I can.

MJB

Summer Memories

2009-09-16T19:45:00.000-07:00

With fall just around the corner, I am posting a few summer pictures. Next week, I will again be posting real blogs. :)

Our end of summer party had a Carnival Theme.

#4 with his cousin at the zoo. The newest addition, #7.

Our 5 & 6 year old. Best buds. The 2 year old, filling her purse.

Our 8 & 3 year old discovering the world. Our 5 year old and his cousin talking to whales.

Our 3 year old checking out the creatures.

Life is All Surreal. Enough said.

MJB

Most Recent Favorite Pitures

2009-09-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

I enjoy to capture kids in moments of innocence and wonder.

Life is All Surreal. Live like a child, and allow each moment to capture you with wonder.

Birthday Ease

2009-09-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

In lieu of my normal blogs, I have decided to celebrate my birthday for the whole week rather than a day. Why not?

Although I will be shirking my responsibilities a little, I'm still working hard on my social network experiment, and will blog fully about this weeks sites on Friday. But, as far as the rest of the week goes, it will be short and sweet.

Today, I am going to share a few pictures of my 3-year-old, (child # 5) on her way back inside after her chore of dumping the compost. Yes, we give our little ones chores, and they are very proud to have them, as it makes them feel "big."

Life is All Surreal. What would you like to be dreaming about?

Delicious and Yardbarker

2009-09-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

At a glance, here are my thoughts:

A one sentence summary of Delicious: An online bookmark; easy to use, easily organized, downloads current bookmarks, and available from any computer on the web.

Although this is a networking site, and you can add people to your community and view their public bookmarks, the community itself is not very easily navigable. I was able to add people to my network, but could not figure out how to communicate with them.

You can also subscribe to topics, and view what other people are bookmarking. I tried this. I typed in "Brad Pit" (was at a loss, of what to type) I found that you can't use a multiple word tag, so anything bookmarked that mentioned "Brad" came up. This could use a little work.

Although they don't add a must keep tool bar, they do add 2 new buttons to your existing favorites bar. Not so bad, considering, these tools make it very quick and handy to classify and file away websites that interest you.

Delicious has a very simple sign up process, you only have to fill in 4 fields. Then you can import your bookmarks. Since my bookmarks had been lost in Internet haven -or so I thought- I was surprised when 4 pages of them showed up. If you want to use this tool, I suggest the first thing you do is go through and tag all your previous book marks into common categories. Then start adding new ones.

How do I feel about Delicious? It's main bonus, is your bookmarks are now online and you can access them from any computer. A definite plus if you use multiple computers, or are not set up on a network in your home. You can choose public, or private, for each bookmark; and when you transfer yours, they are all automatically private, so no worries if you have some skeletons in the closet. As far as the community goes? It definitely could use some work before I would call it a community, currently it's more of a sharing platform.

I will, however, continue to use this website simply because of it's quick and easy filing system, that can be access from anywhere. Find me if you sign up, I'm allsurreal.

Get more info on Delicious here.

Now for the second online community I sampled this week, Yardbarker:

Yardbarker, in short, is an online community and forum where people discuss sports, and can view recent news on sports.

To all of you sports fans, I apologize. Although I love to play sports, very seldom do I watch them, so I probably didn't explore this site to the fullest.

In the Yardbarker forums, you can post feeds, and comment on others' posts. Although I did not take part in this; it is a platform I am familiar with it from ArcheryTalk, where I commonly linger, due to my business.

Then there are videos, called YBtv . This appears to be sports videos, and of course the ever popular women in bikinis on video. Forgive me for my satire.

You can also find famous athletes' blogs on the Yardbarker blog page. And when writing about sports, you have the choice to do so in the forums, or on your own personal Yardbarker blog - which is coming soon as noted on the help page.

Each member has a home page which can be customized to a small degree. You can easily add to your social network by becoming fans of other members. Communication is also easily done, via private message, or, on the public forums.

You can search Yardbarker via teams, or type of sport. Additionally - Top Stories and Your News Feed are displayed on Yardbarker's home page - which you are directed to firstly. You can add your favorite teams and sports to your live feed, which is a very handy tool as far as keeping up on their most recent news.

Though there are several technical issues that need to be addressed, such as: Windows that can only partly be viewed, and broken input fields. Still it seems Yardbarker is working out the kinks, and all-in-all, I think it is a great tool for an avid sports fan.

If you become a member you can find me at allsurreal .

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

When Do Men Grow Up?

2009-09-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

Flatulence causes an eruption of laughter:

At breakfast this morning. My husband was showing off his new physique, as he's lost 30 pounds over the last 3 months and is working hard to loose more. He told the children to "look," promptly flexed his muscles and squatted, simultaneously farting.

I'd like to say it was an accident, but he's a man - so I know that this was planned. Men forget, that children mimic anything they find to be funny, and so often I suffer the results to follow my husbands inappropriate show of humor. Yes before breakfast ended, my oldest son took a body builder's form while standing in his chair at the table, and mimicked his father's earlier display of flatulence.

It isn't only men who find humor in such things. I'll share a story about a young girl from about 10 years ago.

Although her picture much resembles me, this is definitely not a story about me. . .

This girl was the middle daughter of 3, her father having no sons, he raised her like a son, teaching her to hunt, fish, cop-a-squat in the woods, play sports relentlessly, and of course she was well trained in the skills of belching and farting.

She continued on in these learned abilities through her teenage years, at which point she found the element of surprise produced amazing reactions.

In high school if the boy next to her was irritating, it simply took one loud belch when the teacher had his head turned, and the boy would be sent to detention. She never lied. She fully took the blame for every belch, but as she was petite, and feminine in appearance the teacher always believed she was trying to keep the boy from going to detention by blaming herself.

She tells a very funny story about clearing a classroom with one passing of the wind, and the only classmate to realize who it was, was the victim who was given the blame.

Now I would never take part in activities such as burping and farting, but in the name of funny, I will share her hallmark moment here:

As she moved along into adulthood life began to change and her sister got married. This new brother-in-law was always bragging up gross stories of pranks he and his friends played on one another, involving feces. Before this point she had worked abroad as a model, and had kept this petite physique and style, so the brother-in-law - not knowing her well - was very unsuspecting that she, could out talent he, in his proclaimed poop-pranking.

So it happened, that one day, as the girl stopped by her sisters house, the brother-in-law was home and the girl needed to use the facilities. She went up stairs and did her duty, upon returning down she told her brother-in-law, "I think the toilet might be clogged?"

Let me inform you here, she purposely "forgot" to flush the toilet, and lets just say, her piping seems to be quite efficient for one of any size.

After the girl informed her brother-in-law of the toilet troubles, he skipped upstairs to see what the problem was. The girl listened intently to his skipping footsteps, smiling when they came to a jerking halt. There was a silence that spanned for a mini eternity. He didn't move, he didn't speak, he had no idea what to do.

Finally the girl broke down and began laughing hysterically. At which point the brother-in-law peaked his head around the corner. He looked like he'd seen a ghost, when he asked "What is that? . . . Is that real?" He received no answer from his sister-in-law, for she was rolling on the floor laughing, but her sister replied. "Oh G**. What'd she do, leave one of those giant godzilla logs in the toilet?" She then looked at the girl - her sister - and said "Can't you do that at your own house?"

Yes, a hero is never praised in his own home town, but this was simply a friendly jester, from one pooping prankster to another.

Life is All Surreal. It passes quickly, so make the best of it, and NEVER believe everything your told,

MJB

Hot Undergarments

2009-09-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

In preparation for a trip to the ZOO, the kids were cleaning their bedroom, and I was in the kitchen preparing a lunch for the next day's outing. I passed through my bedroom to the toy closet, while putting away some things that had been left in the kitchen, when on my way out the bedroom door, I smelt something hot.

I walked around the room sniffing, and looking to see if the kids had found an iron or some other heating gadget to plug in and turn on. Finding nothing, I had everyone line up at the front door and ran out to get my husband. I am a firm believer of better safe than sorry, so lining them up was my safety precaution for the unlikely scenario of my bedroom bursting into flames.

Upon reaching my husband, I blurted out "There's something hot burning in the bedroom it smells like metal come on!" without a breath; after which I motioned for him to follow me as I ran back inside. He was on the phone and didn't take very kindly to my interruption.

After entering the house I turned, checking to be sure he was right behind me. Glaring at me, he asked his friend "could you hold on just a minute, I guess there's something burning in my house." The kids, the husband, and I all crept down the hall and gathered around my bedroom door looking in. After a moment, my oldest son pointed at the ceiling and yelled out, "It's the underwear on the chandelier!" Which was followed by rolling laughter from everyone in the house including myself.

I hope my husband explained to his friend on the other end of the phone how those underwear got there.

Let me do so, for you, now. Although this is the chandelier that hangs above my bed, don't be so quick to assume they were flung their amidst some steamy passionate event. Remember we have 7 children who's bedroom is directly across the hall from ours.

No, it happened as follows: Earlier in the day, one of the children had knocked the clean laundry - that was on my bed waiting to be folded - off onto the ground. When I walked down the hall and noticed this, I instructed them to pick it back up and place it on the bed so I could fold it later. Evidently the child was in a hurry, because instead of nicely setting the items back onto my bed, they quickly flung all of the items over their head - not looking to see where each one was to land.

Come to think of, it I have a faint recollection of another child reporting to me in the kitchen that their sibling had thrown my underwear on the chandelier while cleaning up. A minor detail that I quickly forgot.

Since we keep the lights out during the day to conserve energy, I hadn't noticed the hot smell earlier. But now an hour or so after dark those clean undies (actually it was my bra) had become very hot, and not the kind of hot you would normally refer to female undergarments as being.

So all in all, yes my undergarments had been flung to the chandelier above my bed. And the kids broadcast that information to a friend from church on the other end of the line. Unfortunately this was not the occurrence of some steamy romance, but a child's halfhearted attempt to clean up right.

Despite the hot undergarment ordeal, we still made it happily to the zoo the following morning.

Yes Life is All Surreal. When 7 kids are involved it can seem a little more dreamy than it is.

MJB

Excitement in the little things

2009-09-07T20:29:00.000-07:00

After cleaning the kitchen yesterday, I walked into the living room and found this cool little tunnel. The kids had made it out of a 30ft long piece of tulle. I joined them in running through it a few times. It was actually kind of fun.

It is good to take a break from the headaches of life each day. Even better, be on your child's level. Just a few moments of your time will mean so much to them for the rest of their lives.

Hold their hand and run down the tunnel. Look at that oh-so-neat bug they just discovered in the back yard. Listen to their desires, their hopes and their dreams, and let them know you care.
Children grow up quickly, time can not be turned back. Don't waste their precious years seeking after money and possessions that won't matter when you die. Live now, for what so many regret not having lived for when they had the chance.

Enjoy the moment, cherish your loved ones. Tomorrow is NEVER guaranteed.

Life is All Surreal. Too bad we all have to wake up eventually.

MJB

Art2ArtColorado-Cheri Nelson

2009-09-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

This month's Art showcase: Art2ArtColorado - Cheri Nelson.

3 prints pictured above: Tweet Home III, Tweet Hatchery I, Tweet Home V

Cheri was born and raised in Colorado and has had a lifelong love for art, from ancient art and civilizations, up to modern and contemporary art.

Old Storms With Yellow Frog

Having been classically trained in art, Cheri has studied many different forms including; oil painting, water media, photography and darkroom work, jewelry design, gemology and ceramics. Also, being attracted to all that digital technology has to offer, Cheri jumped into the world of digital art in 2004 and has enjoyed the self-taught learning journey as a result.

City Street

She's won several awards throughout her life and has been in numerous galleries, gift shops and juried shows.

Wildflower 7

At present, she has a studio in Colorado that she shares with her two Border Collies, Miss Hatfield & Durango Jazz.

Currently Cheri enjoys doing experimental, 2D mixed-media work, and is especially interested in salvaging old, fun things and recreating them into 3D assemblages. She continues to learn all she can and offers a wide variety of art in all styles and various media. Her love for wilderness and nature carry through much of her work and are themes she continues to explore. Other reoccurring themes center around basic human rights, women's rights, oppression and poverty as can be seen in her more critical work. She likes to balance out her serious side by also doing whimsical & fun projects, many of which are based on legends, myths and fairy tales.

Standing Deer

Please feel free to visit and contact Cheri @ Art2ArtColorado.etsy.com where you can purchase her work. You can also follow Cheri on Blogspot and twitter.

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

Pink Tutus

2009-09-03T14:39:00.001-07:00

I want to be 3. I want to wake up in the morning, look through my closet and think, "ya know none of this looks quite right. I think I'll wear a pink princess tutu with a red fur shawl today instead."

To those of you who drive by my house to and from work etc: You've been warned. Sometime in the near future, you may catch me heading to the basement with the laundry on my hip, in nothing but this lovely princess tutu and shawl.

And to the UPS man: I apologize in advance. I swear I'm not crazy.

Life is All Surreal. Try living in the moment, you just might like the craziness.

MJB

Designer Clothes From a 6 Year Old

2009-09-03T14:09:00.000-07:00

I've said it before, Kids can be amazing. A few days ago, my 6 and 3 year old came into the room, the six year old was just glowing.

"Mom, look what I made!" She said with her toothless grin.

I looked, and was shocked at how cute her little creations were. Below you'll find her designs made from scraps of fabric that I leave in a big rubber made bin for the kids to play with.

Look #1: Ruched floorlength strapless gown. :)

Look #2: A strapless pink mini, with matching pink headscarf.

Here is the happy little desginer, #3 our 6 year old:

So, maybe you're not that impressed, but I thought it was pretty good for a little kid.

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

Social networking sites

2009-09-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

I have decided to spend a portion of my time this year, and devote it to curiosity.

Since beginning to blog a couple of months back, I've noticed all these little icons people use to share things they like on the web with others. Just look at the bottom of this blurb, see that peculiar little button down there that says more ? Click on it.

What are those? Links I'm assuming to other social network site's that I've never heard of. I am amazed by how many there are, and just as curiosity killed the cat, I can't live with out knowing what's so great about these sites.

I have decided I am going to choose one or two of these networks each week, sign up and see how it works. Although it probably won't kill me, I'm sure I'll kill alot of time doing it. In short, I intend to know, and share what these things are, and how they work.

The benefits? Well other people, who like me, once were clueless, won't have to waste their time figuring out these sites for themselves. Every Friday I will include in my post, what sites I've tried that week, along with the lowdown on how they work, and what they're all about.

No I don't expect to become an expert in a week, but I hopefully will be much more educated about each site than I was, and out of the dark enough to enlighten you just a little about what I've seen.

Life is All Surreal

MJB

Chickens, Keys, and Kids

2009-09-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

Lack of inspiration brings on a blog from 8 months or so ago. Enjoy!

Why did we decide to have 7 kids I wonder. Presently it's 8:30 and our house has been torn apart from top to bottom.

Here's why:

Earlier, I was working on the web page for our business, during which my husband was down town getting his hair cut. Husband returned home, kids got dressed and cleaned, and all were ready to head out the door for dinner when we realized . . no keys!

I searched for them on the key hooks in the hallway, checked the chest by the front door, the dish on the top of the piano, the side table in my bedroom. I examined every surface in our home in which the keys occasionally land, but found nothing.

Then a little light bulb dimly lit above my head. "Ya know there weren't any keys on the key ring. . .or in the plate on the piano. . .or anywhere." And I followed this thought up with a frustrated "Kids!" I grilled them for answers, and came up with this conclusion.

Our 5,4,and 3 year old had collected every set of keys in the house and taken them upstairs to play. This all occurred during my 10th, month of pregnancy, as #7 was a month overdue. So our house wasn't exactly spotless, especially not upstairs, where I become very un-fond of going at 10 months pregnant.

The scavenger hunt for keys began, 6 starving children, and 1 starving pregnant lady. (I don't know which of those is more grumpy when feeling the pangs of hunger.)

We found every set except the one set with no duplicate, the one set we needed, the only set for our Suburban which is the sole vehicle that will chauffeur us all to a meal out.

So now after an hour of searching I've collapsed on the couch only to look up and see the 2 year old carefully learning how to slide down the banister, and the one year old in front of me screaming and throwing her sippy cup at me because its past dinner time, and bed time for that matter.

My husband has decided to drive his little red pickup truck to get some takeout so we can feed our kids and put them to bed.

It all reminds me of a nursery rhyme I heard as a kid. "The little old lady who lived in a shoe." You know how it goes, "had so many children she didn't know what to do" we are to the part tonight where "she gave them some broth without any bread,whipped them all soundly and put them to bed." With out the whipping of course. That is unless something terribly drastic happens in the next 30 minutes.

Is it always this bad? You may ask. My answer to you would be . . Well no.

There are times, days, even months when I could find joy in nothing better than rescuing my child from the strait pin sticking through their shirt that was found who knows where.

Or answering the door because the dogs are barking and someone is knocking, only to look down and find our crazy chicken Recluse,who is pecking at the door because a stray cat is eating her cat food. Yes the chicken eats the cats food, but that's only after she's finished with the dog's. Odd thing that chicken.

But why, you say, would anybody ask for all that chaos? I believe, it is simply because I can. I'm all grown up, and no one can tell me no.

As a child I brought home every stray cat and dog in the neighborhood. I constantly housed frogs, snakes, bees and any other creature I could get my hands on. How I hated those words. "No Monica, no!"

Was 7 children due to lack of better judgement? Do I regret it now? Of course not! I couldn't properly function with out chaos. It's what makes my heart beat and my blood pump. Every day I have a challenge to overcome, and at the end of each day if I've succeeded. There is no greater satisfaction.

And if I haven't suceeded at the end of the day? Then I must be pregnant again, because during all 9 months of pregnancy our house is a shambles, we resort to frozen and fast foods, and I let all children sleep as late as they want. Instructing them to watch cartoons if they get up before me.

Now number seven will be here within the month. Last one we hope, what will life bring?

More chaos I'm sure. Though I don't know what could be worse than a messy dirty house filled with a daughters rescued cats (I wonder where she got that from?). Cats who ruin everything that we own, according to my husband, and a crazy chicken named recluse who roosts and poops atop my car hood every day.

Try to explain that one to the young kids working in the drive through coffee shop.

Today, If Life is All Surreal, then it's pushing the point of bad dreamdom. (Yes I just made that word up). Of course my husband would tell you, as soon as I eat, this thought will pass, and I will be looking through rose colored glasses once again.

MJB

Stumble and Digg go hand in hand

2009-09-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

Learn about Stumble and Digg

Lets Start with Stumble. This is quite a nifty little site. The whole name is Stumble Upon, and that is exactly what it does. It helps you to "stumble upon" sites that you like with the simple click of a button.

How to use Stumble Upon? Go to their website http://www.stumbleupon.com/ and click on the sign up now button if you want the full benefits of what it can do.

I did this and filled in my info. Then I realized along with signing up, stumble installs a toolbar to your browser. On any other given day, I would have ended the process right there. There is a fine line between helpful toolbars, and toolbar excessiveness, when you have so many "free" toolbars the screen is no longer visible. BUT since I am committed to trying these things out, I was committed to the whole process. I installed the toolbar, (and am definitely keeping it!).

Next you check off things you like and/or are interested in, from a generated list. Follow a few more steps and there you have it you are officially a stumbler.

I am pleasantly surprised, and actually suggest you add the toolbar.
Here's why: It has 3 nifty little buttons on the left hand side,
1 that says stumble
2 says I like it! with a little thumbs up symbol and
3 has a thumbs down symbol.

The reason these are so great is:
You click the stumble button, and it randomly generates a sight you may like according to the preferences you submitted.
Like it? Click the thumbs up and it is saved to your stumble account.
Don't like it? Click the thumbs down and stumble again.

What's great about this, is the more you stumble and click on your preference, the more Stumble Upon understands what you like.

I was skeptical, not believing it could actually generate things that would keep my attention (I have a short attention span, much like that of a 4 year old). But right off the bat, they were at least 70% right on and it just got better. I haven't laughed so hard and so much in a week, or found so many interesting things. The key is, checking off the things that truly interest you.

For those who absolutely refuse to add a toolbar. You can search their sight, and see the things others have stumbled upon and like. To get the full benefit though I suggest signing up in spite of the stumble toolbar it wants to install, at least to try it. After all toolbars are like hair, in that they can always be cut.

To learn more about Stumble Upon check out this video it breaks down the how-to, in audio and visual. And here are links to some of their recent pages of 5 star stumbles by category. news photos videos arts business computers health fun lifestyle music science sports technology

Now for Digg

On Facebook? Great, the sign up process for Digg will be a piece of cake. You can link it directly to your Facebook account, and skip most of the questions. It will even search your Facebook friends and add them to your list of Digg friends. Through this linking process I realized that the majority of my friends are as un-technological as me. Out of my over 140 Facebook friends, only 1 was on Digg. Ouch! But now, you Facebook users, may have to join me.

The name Digg I'm guessing comes from that slang term "I dig it". There are no facts supporting that, just good ol' MJB logic. Take it or leave it, but that is exactly what Digg is. Which is why I think Digg and Stumble go hand and hand. See something on stumble you like? Digg it. And when you do, it will even ask if you want to link it to your facebook profile.

Note to Facebook friends. All those weird or funny articles I've been linking to. You guessed it, I Stumbled them and then Digged them. Or was that Dugg them?

Digg though, is about News, Videos, and Images. If you click on one of those links, you can dig (yes the cheesy pun is intended) through recent articles that other Diggers have Dugg okay, I'll stop with the puns now.

Sign up, submit your first article, picture, or video, and you'll feel like a journalist submitting your first story to the editor. Digg checks for duplicates, and if none are found, it asks you for a short summary describing what you are submitting. If you want others to read it, use something catchy like "Dog Walks on Moon" Or if your just digging it to store it on the web for your self, add a label here so you remember what it is you've submitted.

When I look at my homepage on Digg, I know there is so much more, but remember I never stated I would be an expert on these sites, just a little more enlightened than before. The light may be dim, but if you want to see more, check it out yourself at http://digg.com/ .

Overal Digg was okay, I'll probably keep my acct, but will us it very little. Stumble I loved, and give a 5-star thumbs up!

I hope to see some of you find me on these sights. Just look for allsurreal, and add me to your network.

Life is All Surreal

MJB

The Honey Culprits

2009-08-31T12:15:00.000-07:00

Kids are like monkeys. At least that's the conclusion I've come to. That old saying; monkey see monkey do, definitely applies to children also. Not just young children, but children of all ages. See here, proof. My little girls reading and holding babies, two things they'll most often see me doing, if I'm able to sit down for a moment.

It seems that to be a parent who wants their child to develop good habits and be a become genuinely good person, can also mold the parent. Because kids don't; do as I say, not as I do, a sticky little saying so often heard in reference to children. No, they do as I do.

If you've read my blog, or know me personally, you know I'm very in to healthful organic eating. Since I am finished with the exhaustion that comes with pregnancy after a decade straight, I've really been trying to take more steps in getting organic eating into motion full swing in our home.

One step has been to replace sugars with honey, in all my baking and cooking. Honey, healthy as it may be, has been the cause of my laughter several times today.

The first instance was at dinner when I almost fell out of my seat laughing. Let me first say that my children all, act quite like their mother and father. Remember; monkey see monkey do. In some ways that can be a good thing, but there are times where I wish that do as I say not as I do would come into play.

One of my kids' inherited traits, can be observed during mealtime at the table. My husband and I both being very creative/inventive people, always want to know how things work, -or- better yet what they're made of. If we go into a restaurant, and order an amazingly tasty dish, we pick it apart discussing what the ingredients are, so we can recreate it at home.

This afternoon, I baked a yummy ham for lunch, mashed potatoes, and a sweet gravy. I'm not the best cook, probably because I'm always improvising and experimenting, and today, I added honey to the gravy. Yes it seems weird, but I thought "They make honey glazed ham, so honey should be good in the gravy" This was one of the few experiments in my kitchen that has actually been successful.

Soooo, as we sat around the table at lunch, the kids all started to discuss and ask what was in the gravy. Remember monkey see monkey do. Of course I told them it was honey to which my 5 year old son, with his lisp excitedly replied "Wow mom, this is the only thing you've made with honey in it that was actually good!"

Thank you . . .son. :)

The second bout of honey laughter came a little later. After lunch, most of us napped, and then I set the kids on the task of afternoon chores so I could sit down at the computer and get a little work done. About half way through their chores child #1 came running into the room in question saying, "Mom? Somebody left the honey on the kitchen floor bla bla bla"

Having a rather large family, I purchase most things in bulk so the honey we use comes in a 1/2 gallon milk jug. After hearing the important details "1/2 gallon of sticky honey on the kitchen floor" I tuned out the rest, and headed toward the kitchen.

I assumed it was the doing of the 2 & 3 year old girls, and expected a huge mess. What a surprise when I arrived in the kitchen to see a sparkling clean floor with the jug of honey neatly sitting in the middle. "What's the big deal?" I thought, knowing there must be more than meets the eye. I investigated more closely, saw nothing but an open dishwasher door, so I began to close it and head out of the kitchen when I noticed something in the soap holder.

Yes, they had ever so neatly poured honey into both soap compartments in my dishwasher, replaced the lid and set the honey on the floor. There it is again, that little saying monkey see monkey do. Only thing is they used honey, not dish soap.

What did that do? you ask. Honestly, I don't know. It's Sunday, I needed to go to the store, and decided that the dishes (and the honey) could wait til tomorrow. I won't go into our shopping details, but they included a 2 year old throwing the groceries out of the cart as I tried not to laugh (mostly so I wouldn't look like an irresponsible mother) and an overly tired 3 year old who's sole mission was to make me look like a poor mother. These grumpy and mischievous pictures seem appropriate here:

Life is All Surreal. Some days you hit, some days you miss, don't let the bad days get you down. After all Tomorrow is another day.

MJB

Cute Twitter Links!

2009-08-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

I found these great new twitter icons here This site has some great info and help when it comes to designing things for your blog etc. You should follow them on twitter and check out their site. at http://webtreats.mysitemyway.com/ . He gives the links to the artists whom you should definately check out and follow also.

Here are a few I made up with codes for you to use as a twitter link from your blog or site. Just copy the link below them, ad your twitter user name in place of "your_name_here". And you should be good to go. There are a ton more of them, so If anyone would like, I could make up some codes for those to.

Copy the link below, and add your twitter user name where it says "your_name_here". Go to your layout page, click on 'Add a Gadget' choose the hotmail gadget, and pasted the edited code there. Wala you have a cute new twitter link.

<center><a "href=http://twitter.com/your_name_here"target="_blank"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_GFrRDCju0Bw/SpngHBpvKyI/AAAAAAAAAJg/9eJ2XmYKAJw/s144/iconsetc-promo-twitter15.png"/></a> <a href="http://allsurreal.blogspot.com/2009/08/cute-twitter-links.html" target="_blank">Catch this widget</a></center>

<center><a "href=http://twitter.com/your_name_here"target="_blank"><img src=http://lh4.ggpht.com/_GFrRDCju0Bw/SpnfsEtujHI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/v9BdHFBFuI4/s144/ink-splatter-twitter-t.png""/></a> <a href="http://allsurreal.blogspot.com/2009/08/cute-twitter-links.html" target="_blank">Catch this widget</a></center>

<center><a "href=http://twitter.com/your_name_here"target="_blank"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_GFrRDCju0Bw/SpngTV-ZBmI/AAAAAAAAAJ4/dMHQ3L3jw38/s144/blck-comment-bubble-twitter.png"/></a> <a href="http://allsurreal.blogspot.com/2009/08/cute-twitter-links.html" target="_blank">Catch this widget</a></center>

<center><a "href=http://twitter.com/your_name_here"target="_blank"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_GFrRDCju0Bw/Spnf0vtr38I/AAAAAAAAAJY/Oy1Kcuq8vVw/s144/iconsetc-promo-twitter27.png"/></a> <a href="http://allsurreal.blogspot.com/2009/08/cute-twitter-links.html" target="_blank">Catch this widget</a></center>

<center><a "href=http://twitter.com/your_name_here"target="_blank"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_GFrRDCju0Bw/SpngZj6WccI/AAAAAAAAAKA/v-gWojeuciI/s144/glass-nebula-twitter-icon.png"/></a> <a href="http://allsurreal.blogspot.com/2009/08/cute-twitter-links.html" target="_blank">Catch this widget</a></center>

How do you Teach a Bird Dog to Flush?

2009-08-27T10:29:00.001-07:00

In response to the upcoming hunting season, in which each year I am widowed in my husbands pursuit of organic meat, I am posting a blog from a few years back. Note: This is not for the faint of heart, or stomach.

To my brother-in-law Corey.

There are two very important lessons I wish all 6 of my children would learn:

Number 1: If it's brown flush it down

Number 2: If you can't unlock it don't lock it (especially if mom's outside)

Since I am limited on time today, we will simply be addressing issue #1.

You know this one just seems like common sense, you don't leave a log in the toilet. It smells, is gross and is definitely not pretty. Although this has always been an issue in our daycare of a home, the solution was much easier before I bought my husband a bird dog with a high powered sniffer.

It used to be I'd find mister lumpy in the toilet, yell out "If you poop in the toilet you need to flush it!" so the whole neighborhood could hear, and I would flush it down myself. At least they pooped in the toilet right?

This recently has become a whole new ball game. Being a loving wife, I got my husband a beautiful black and white, lab/spaniel mix for Christmas. Okay she's a mutt, but she's a pheasant dog, so she's supposed to sniff out birds and flush them so my other half can shoot them. (Note to reader: This is food on the table) After the kill she retrieves the birds from the bushes drops them at the hunters feet, and receives an exciting doggy treat.

I recently have realized she doesn't really know the meaning of flush, although she's got the retrieve thing down pat.

You see, this dog doesn't leave her duties solely for the playing field, she likes to stay in her game, by working on her skills at home.

It all starts with a seemingly innocent dog laying by the fire minding her own business. Suddenly her nose goes into the air and immediately she is on the track of something that needs to be "flushed". I mind you this is NOT the kind of flush I am hoping for. She discretely looks around to see if anybody is watching, and when in the clear, nose to the floor she heads to the bathroom. After arriving in the desired room, the dog retrieves her "bird" and heads for the front door to enjoy her trophy.

At this point I have realized something is not quite right in our home. So I head to the other end of the house, discovering along the way drips of water all down the hall, and on the toilet seat. Upon entry of the bathroom I notice an empty toilet, but I smell poop.

Remembering there is a practicing bird dog in our home, I then angrily charge to the living room. This is where I find the retriever, who upon seeing my fumes realizes that she never gets to keep the bird for herself. "Oh yes" she thinks, "I am supposed to retrieve or fetch, and bring it to my master, drop it at their feet, and then I will get a grand treat!"

I don't think there is any need to explain what happens next in this story. I will say it is not pretty, and includes lots of yelling, running and sanitizer everywhere.

So, in closing. How do you teach a bird dog to flush?

This would solve so many problems.

As for Problem #2 we'll have to discuss that later, right now I have to tend to a toddler who has disassembled something important in the living room.

Life is All Surreal. Even in the messiest of ordeals.

MJB

Simpy Floral

2009-08-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

Tommorrow I will share another funny story about life. Today, I have one last kid's showcase for this week. My eldest, a 9 year old girl, loves gardening. So much in fact that at one point she had written up a contract for our 8 year old son, asking him to sign over all rights to his strawberry plants, to her. This was during strawberry season, when she was wanting to be the sole consumer of our strawberry patch.

This year, I gave her and exclusive portion of the garden to do what she would. Of her own choice, she decided to plant a variety of small sunflowers. She cleverly reminds me whenever there is a vase full of her flowers on our kitchen table, that she steadfastly planted them during a thunderstorm. Although this is true, our thunderstorms consist of a nice warm summers eve, with a slight drizzle, and lighning strikes in the distance. So it's not as bad as she'd like to make it sound.

All pictures above are of Child #1's sunflowers. Homegrown, with her tender little hands and heart.

Life is All Surreal. The effort it takes to nurture another life, pays off in the end. Don't give up when there aren't immediate results. Good things are worth the wait.

MJB

Photography from a 9 year old

2009-08-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

Wow! Sometimes kids amaze me. The other day, I caught my 2 year old daughter and dog in the cutest position by the front door. I ran to grab the camera, came back, and they wouldn't reposition.

I left the camera there, hoping to walk back through the living room and find them there again.

A few minutes passed and our oldest child, a 9 year old girl walked into the kitchen (were I feel I live), handed me the camera, and said "Mom, I got them to get back in position". She was watching me, and knew what I wanted, so with much patience she coaxed them back to where they were, and got me the shot I wanted. What a sweet heart.

Look at the pictures she took, all alone, no help:

Life is All Surreal. Be sure to stop and smell the roses every once in a while.

MJB

Kids' Showcase

2009-08-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

From time to time I become absolutely awestruck at the ability of a child to create. We as adults so often think of ourselves as being superior in our education and acquired talents, that we forget just how special a child can be. This is the section where I will post the occasional stunning piece of artwork, or photograph created by a child. Or perhaps a recent story written by kids that amazes me.

Here: Nothing stellar made by kids, Just a series of fun photos of kids # 5 & 6, in front of our living room art display.

Jumping on the Couch

IZZE an exceptional drink

2009-08-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

Photo taken from IZZE creative gallery

I recently tried a great new product, IZZE. Generally speaking, I stick mostly to water and wouldn't have tried this, had my husband not brought a case home from Costco and placed it in our fridge. As I stare at the 3 empty bottles before me, I realize water will be receiving a little nudge to make room in my palate for something new.

I often reminiscence of a product from my youth, Clearly Canadian. These were the perfect drink, but I haven't seen one in years. In that time, I've sampled multiple sparkling waters, bottled italian sodas and the like, yet have found the majority of them much too sweet, not to mention the not so natural ingredients. I'd given up on finding a drink to my liking.

Now, though, my hope is restored, and my husband has earned mucho brownie points for his recent find.

Izze is an all natural sparkling luxury. Concocted of 70% pure fruit juice, and a splash of sparkling water. It contains no refined sugars, no caffeine, no preservatives, and no artificial colors or flavors. What can I say but, plus, plus, plus, and plus. These drinks are so pure I'll even let my kids have them. That is if there are any left by tomorrow when they will have discovered my empty bottles.

Their exceptional sparkling beverage comes in 8 flavors, 3 of which I've tasted; Sparkling Blackberry, Sparkling Pomegranate, and Sparkling Clementine. All three were amazing, with the perfect amount of bite and sweet blended in to divine refresh-fullness. Additionally they offer IZZE esque, a low calorie line in 3 different flavors. And IZZE fortified, a sparkling beverage in a can, with added vitamin C, B6, and Niacin.

Kudos to Todd Woloson, and Greg Stroh in their creation of an amazing beverage and what appears to be a great Company. You can visit the IZZE website to learn about their company, products, and amazing ways in which they are giving back to the community and being Green.

Life is All Surreal.

MJB

Caught in the act

2009-08-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

One does as one will, when they don't know they are being watched. Surely there isn't a person alive that doesn't make the occasional face in the mirror, or belt out a tune at the top of their voice completely off key. I know you've gone digging for gold, and probably even pretended to be someone you're not, speaking the lines of another, all while in the privacy of your own home -or car- if that be your secret stage.

If you haven't? Well then I'm a little off, but I guess variety of personality is what makes the world go round.

Today was a little more event full than my usual cleaning filled Fridays. It began with a trip to the department store to exchange a set of sheets that came in a queen size regardless of the tag saying California King. On my way out the front door of my home I was met by my mother. A meeting which was followed by a whole slew of events.

Mom was headed to an estate sale just up the road from me, and stopped to buy some time (she's always early). After chatting it was decided she would take 3 of my 7 children with her, and when the rest of the children and I were done at the store I would return to her house and pick up the others. Both of us gathered our designated kids and headed off.

Shopping is one thing that always seems to take much longer than it should. Because of this I didn't end up arriving at mom's until almost noon, so we decided to stay and eat lunch with her, rather than go home and clean, which I was just itching to do. (Please hear a sarcastic note in my voice as I state my desire to clean).

My sister happened to be at mom's today, relaxing after the hard work of moving into a new home, which she had just purchased. Of course being sisters we had to visit, and look at mom's most recent snapshots. This reminded me I needed a few pictures for a project I'm working on, and led to my searching of Mom's albums for just the right pics.

After that I decided to visit the newest home in our family, which is where I was when I received a phone call from my father. Dad called to tell me that a friend of his was also moving and had a bed for one of my children. I told him I wasn't home, but they could drop the bed off at my house before I got back.

Upon returning home the bed wasn't there, and I decided we might as well try to get a little cleaning done, after all today is cleaning day. So as always I picked my favorite jazz play list, turned the volume up loud and began to clean.

Consequently I don't find cleaning in itself to be a very enjoyable task, which is why I play loud music. This is not all I do to make scrubbing filth more entertaining. I also love to sing, so I belt out every song word for word, and often I dance along with whatever cleaning tool I am using at that particular moment.

This afternoon, I was working hard at the task of making my bed, (the new set of sheets fit just right!). There was a wonderful jazz/salsa song on, so I was singing loud and salsa dancing with the sheets, and occasionally with my 3 year old daughter. (Yes my poor children have inherited my quirky '"at home" habits.)

The song came to an end, and feeling good about my performance, I stepped out of the room, into the living room where low and behold there it was, the bed that my fathers friend was dropping by.

Evidently my music (and singing) were so loud, I could not hear guests at the door. And as I had told them in the case of my absence to let themselves in, they were simply following my instructions by doing so. Never did I, or the 7 cleaning kids see or hear them. I have this little feeling in my gut though that they saw (and heard) me. What a sight it must have been, a twenty something year old woman, singing her heart out dancing with a sheet in her bedroom as if I were on a stage at some night club.

Poor things, they were probably too scared to tell me they were there, knowing I would be incredibly embarrassed, for I was acting like a complete fool. So instead they quietly and politely set the bed down, then walked out the door returning to where they had come from.

Oh well! I've never hid the fact that I'm a terrible dancer, and anybody who truly knows me would tell you I'm weird. As for putting on a show to an audience I didn't know was there? There is an upside. No stage fright.

Life is All Surreal. Embrace all your quirks, knowing that someday you'll be found out by someone when you least expect it.

MJB

Early Addictions

2009-08-19T19:25:00.000-07:00

I have found as an adult, I desire sweet treats, not so much for the sweet, but because of fond memories I have from my childhood. This addiction/habit is one I hope not to pass on to my children.

A favorite childhood memory of mine is cookies. No not store bought cookies, but the cookies made with love by my mother and grandmother. I vividly remember our yellow laminate kitchen floor, and the white speckled counter atop which sat my mothers sunbeam mixer.

When mom started to make a batch of her favorite chocolate chip cookies, all kids ran to the kitchen in wait of the luxurious beater. There were 3 children and 2 beaters, yet it wasn't the spoonful of cookie dough given that was envied, it was the beloved sunbeam beaters.

Then their was Grandma's house. Grandma's vice were sugar cookies. To this day, I remember being just tall enough to peek up over the "drainboard" as she rolled out the dough, with her white marble rolling pin, then she would let us cut the cookies. The best part, again was eating the scraps left over once the cookies had been removed from the rolled out dough.
Now as a mother creating memories for my children, I do bake the occasional batch of cookies. I even allow them to indulge in the scraps of dough left over. Most often though, you will find me obsessing over whether or not their food has been organically grown. I grow a garden, we hunt and fish, which provides organic meat, I even sew my own organic cloth diapers.

I've decided bad habits from ones childhood, are the hardest to break as an adult. So I figure if I bless my children with good eating habits now they'll last into adulthood. Right?

Interestingly enough, I have come to find, sweets are addicting whether they come with memories or not.

I'll embarrassingly admit, I store a bulk bag of chocolate covered raisins next to my bed for those special female moments in which I need a little boost of Iron. (That's my excuse anyway, I'm not really even sure if there is iron in raisins).

A few nights ago, I decided to type my blog on the bedroom computer. The baby was still awake, so I placed her on my bed and entertained her by letting her play with the bag of chocolate raisins, which were sealed shut.

Now how could a baby get into those? Most adults have a problem opening store sealed bags.

To go along with my obsessive organic kid menu, I don't believe in giving sugar to a baby before they turn one. So baby #7 has never before experienced the sweetness beheld within the yellow bag she so innocently played with.

As I typed my blog, I could hear the baby talking and crinkling the bag. All at once, things became stone silent. I turned to check on her and began to laugh.

Somehow she had opened the seal on the bag, and was now sitting face covered in chocolate, crazed eye look, with two fists full of raisinets.

When I said her name she began to kick, and stuff more chocolate into her mouth as if she knew she better get as much as she could, and fast. It would be a good 4 months before I would let her taste this stuff again, and she was determined to get her fill NOW.

Then there is this afternoon, I returned home from the library with my children to find a large bag of mom's signature candy sitting on the kitchen counter. Thank you mom. I told the kids if they ate their lunch (tuna on lettuce with black beans and oranges) I would allow them each to indulge in the poison of chocolate. And I definitely poisoned my self with some too.

As we were eating, #5, my 3 year old daughter, announced she was done and attempted to scrape her whole salad into the garbage. She was ready to indulge.

I ushered her back to the table, and we continued eating. A few moments later I heard a very familiar crinkling behind me in the kitchen. I looked up and noticed #5 and her plate were nowhere to be found at the table.

Quickly following the sound, I spied the missing child emerging from between the freezer and the counter guilt written on her face. Curiously I looked in the nook from which she had exited and discovered; Candy, out of wrapper, on the floor. and Noticed salad, with plate, in the sink.

So I guess I can try and create good habits for my children, but I may be fighting a loosing battle, especially when it comes to the girls.

Ahhhhh. . .Life is All Surreal. Don't choke out the present in hopes of a better future. Live now for now, and hope it all lasts.

MJB

Now where did I put those raisinets?

Sheer Exhaustion

2009-08-18T17:26:00.001-07:00

Although my intentions are to blog 4 out of the 5 working weekdays. Busines has picked up incredibly this week, and I am absolutely exhausted. More blogs to come later in the week. I promise :)

Life is All Surreal. When exhausted, . . Sleep

MJB

Beast or Creator

2009-08-15T16:03:00.000-07:00

Something I've thought about long and hard is:

Why doesn't everyone follow their dream?
And though I'm no scholar, this question has led me to several more questions and thoughts of possible reasons why.

Now I'll be honest. I hate "religion" I think it's the most evil thing that has ever existed. Yet love God with my whole being, believe in and read the Bible, and definitely am grateful for my freedom to believe as I want. That being said, most Americans seem to know a few of the main themes in the Bible, one being the end times, which is written much about in Revelations, (the last book of the Holy Bible).

One of the things end times prophecies speak about often is "the beast"
Now, I think it very possible that, just as Jesus spoke in parables to the people of his day, God had much of the Bible written in parables too.

Seriously, if you Truly desire something of worth, you are willing to seek it out, no matter how hard. You'll do everything possible to acquire that thing of worth. So it only makes sense that the creator, if he had important truths to impart, would do it in a way that only fervent seekers would get it. (At least that's what I choose to believe)

I don't claim to be a scholar, or even to be right, but here are where my questions that led to questions that led to thoughts brought me.

1. What's the main difference between man and beast (beast as in other creatures, animals etc.).

I think it is that man can create. Really other than that we're much like animals, eat, sleep, work for food, reproduce etc. I would even venture to say beasts each have a unique personality. But what beast creates or invents things simply for enjoyment?

2. So this question/thought led me to: If the difference between man and beast is that man can be creative and beast cannot, then What is there that steals man's drive to be creative and follow their passion?

Hmmmmm. How about the nine to five, and the desire to survive comfortably the way society says you should. Or the desire to fit in and be like everyone else. The bondage placed on one's shoulders when he goes into debt, so he can seem important by the things he has acquired.

3. Which led to the thought: Stress from society, leaves us creatively exhausted by the end of each day, and literally steals the one special trait given to us when the Creator created us in His image.

In other words he created us to create. He placed a different desire and passion and talent in each of us, and then said "go for it".

So in my mind the beast is not what you can see, but something greater than that. The beast is any controlling power that steals from you the uniqueness of YOU. By stealing the desire and drive to fulfill your passion and live out your dreams, by using the talents the Creator gave you to do that very thing he placed passion in your heart for.

To most of you this may be a lot of nothing, but it is a string of my thoughts. You may not like what's in my head, but I'm okay with that. Cuz I am who I am, and I refuse to let any Beast steal that from within me. :)

Life is All Surreal. What are you living for?

MJB

Go With The Flow

2009-08-12T18:16:00.000-07:00

It's Amazing the thoughts a simple event can lead too.

Today I took a trip to the coast with my Mom, Sister and our children. Along the way I noticed a lovely planter on the side of the road which triggered a funny memory from the past. This particular planter was across the road down a small driveway just over the tracks on the edge of some trees planted in the front of some one's yard.

The planter happened to be a toilet, in which the bowl and the tank had been filled with dirt, and planted with beautiful flowers. I can't help but wonder if I witnessed the inspiration of this very planter just last year during the drive of our yearly Coast trip.

Last year I brought a friend along with us to the Coast. We'll call her Jill. Although the drive to Nye beach is very scenic, there aren't many large towns OR public places along the way. That being said, when Jill realized about half way through the drive, she had to go to the bathroom, I suggested we pull over and she use the ditch on the side of the road.

Jill not being very versed in women's outdoor pottying, insisted that there must be SOMEWHERE soon that had a public restroom she could use. So we continued to drive for 15 minutes or so when Jill realized that there is no time like the present to learn a new skill. She quickly pointed to the side of the road and said "STOP THERE".

I did as she commanded, and expected her too get out and pee along our side of the road. I then watched as Jill walked to the front of the car, crossed the road and proceeded to walk down a little country home's driveway.

Jill crossed the tracks, at which point I thought maybe she was going to walk up to the front door and ask to use their pottying facilities. When to my surprise Jill stopped. She looked at a little patch of trees, stepped just out of view, and . . . . well you know what happens next.

When Jill returned to the car I asked her "Did you realize that was somebodies driveway, and their house is just behind those trees?"

She looked at me absolutely mortified and said, "go go go!"

Evidently her bladder had become so full that she wasn't seeing strait.

Now, the kind people from that little old country home, have placed a toilet on the edge of their little patch of trees. I suppose they did this in remembrance of "going with the flow".

Oh yes, Life is All Surreal. There are times when we have absolutely no control and in these delicate situations I think it best just to go with the flow.

MJB

To Be A Child

2009-08-11T17:09:00.001-07:00

Although I'm just ending a lovely bout with the flu, I have had the pleasure of nephews and nieces staying overnight today and yesterday.

Last night I was able to glimpse back into childhood for just a moment, while watching my son and nephew excitedly return bottles and cans that had been given to them by grandma and grandpa.

Each boy earned a whopping $4 and as I waited for them at the front of the store I watched their excitement of new responsibility shine through each fidget, thumbs up and raising of the eyebrow.

I truly want to restore that desire to "live" rather than "be" in my life.

Seriously when was the last time you returned bottles and cans, being so excited you couldn't hold still in line. Standing tall, obviously proud of what you had, and wanting everyone to know it.

Okay, okay you're right if an adult were to walk that way through the store after returning bottles and cans everyone else would think he was crazy.

Crazy or not, I envy children, in their innocence, awe, trust and confidence. They aren't living to please others, they're living just to live, and enjoy. That is something I think the rest of us could do more of.

For now, Life is All Surreal. Follow your passion, and live your dream, Fitting in will never satisfy.

MJB

Solitude

2009-08-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

This evening my children have gone to stay at their grandmothers. Enough said, tonight's blog will be short. It's amazing how when in the midst of chaos, all seems normal. Now though, in the peace in quiet, I realize how tiring it can, emotionally and physically be to raise seven children. EVERYTHING must be done in multiples.

I can't make just one cup of hot chocolate if I have a craving.

Overnight stays involve me packing or checking 9 bags. (yes my husband still needs his bag checked.:)
You don't want to know what a simple bike ride involves.

I am not complaining, I love my kids, and can hardly stand to be apart from them, yet there are several things this evening I have enjoyed.

A bath. Be assured I bathe daily, yet today I was able to lay in a hot tub and relax!

Generally I'm interrupted by kids who suddenly have an emergency and must use the toilet, (we only have one). Or there are the younger girls who think bath time is playtime. So they hover above me asking if I want them to "help wash", or stating "I take bath" while standing clothe less, one foot already stepping into the tub. And while these are moments I will long cherish, I am enjoying the mindlessness of self while it lasts.

Dinner. Now dinner at the table with a large family is fun. After dinner though, is a headache. I refuse to be the only one to cook and clean while EVERYONE eats. But to get all to help clean the kitchen after a big meal is like pulling teeth. Tonight, there were only 4 dishes to clean! Woohoo! AND I ate on the couch, watching a movie, without missing ANY of what was being said.

I took a 2 hour nap, and when I woke up. . . The house was still clean!

Earlier in the day I left some magazines, and all my favorite bath lotions on the side of the tub,(I'm going to get in as many baths as possible in the next 24 hours) when I returned to the bathroom, . . . All was still in tact, no lotions emptied on the floor, or onto the head of a younger sibling. Ahhhhhh.

For the rest of the night, Cheesecake, Movies, Writing, and Relaxation with my husband. When I go to bed, I'm going to sleep until I wake up on my own and even then, maybe just maybe I'll go back to sleep until the kids come home.

Life is All Surreal. Live it, enjoy it, and love those around you. But, remember if you don't take care of yourself you can't at all give your loved ones the attention they need.

MJB

To Eat or Not to Eat?

2009-08-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

In my efforts to follow through with the yesterdays quest, Today we tried eating grasshoppers. To view the "try" watch the video. Feel free to share this laugh for today.

Childlike curiosity

2009-08-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight I find my self staring at the computer feeling very uninspired. That probably means I didn't spend enough time with my children today. Which is exactly the reason every time I begin to type I hear little footprints behind me trying to see what's up. And when they realize mommies in "the zone" they sneak into the kitchen and rob some chocolate covered almonds, the only sweet thing in the house. If it wasn't for the fact that jealous siblings are sure to report the sweet thieves, I wouldn't even know they'd been in the kitchen.

What is it about being a kid that is so magical. I remember never wanting to fall asleep in fear that I would miss some wonderful moment in life. And now, though I try to enjoy each moment, sleep has become a precious retreat. Actually my bed is probably one of the few things I look forward to seeing every day.

So I have decided to try something new. I am going to try to face each decision and action this week (or what remains of the week) with childlike curiosity. I'll try and notice the details, and be fascinated by the little things that I so often glaze over.

Every time a child interrupts me, to show me that oh so special flower, I'm going to stop what I'm doing and join them in their fascination. Most likely by the end of the week, my house will be a shambles, BUT the house will always be there to clean, before I know it the children will be gone, and the memories I missed, will leave with them.

I let you know how it goes, Who knows maybe I'll chose childlike curiosity as a new way of life.

Life is All Surreal, If the little things can't make you smile anymore, then nothing will. Happiness is a choice, make it last.

MJB

Very shallow thought

2009-08-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

So I've been wondering. Do fish fart? Seriously, do they? And if they do, are there bubbles?

The Old Chaps

2009-08-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

Oh the old boys, Duke and Dryphus. Two stray dogs that showed up not long after I married. I searched for their owners, but found none, so I kept them. Both males, both with everything still in tact. But amazingly they've always gotten along just fine. Just fine that is until I wisely brought home a new pup of the female gender.

Several years have passed since the old chaps landed on my front porch, and just as our bodies tell the tale of time with age, so have theirs.

For starters, the old boys have gotten grumpier with age. And when that new pup came home a while back, they felt the need to strut their stuff. Constantly trying to show one another up, they'd brawl or growl with every passing. In result I had to begin switching their morning walks to alternate days.

Feeling bad they could no longer walk together I decided to visit the local pet shop and see what solutions they had for me. I found two products that were gold. The first, muzzles. With these I could now walk them together without the fear they'd begin fighting during their senior moments. The second item was a "splitter" or so I call it. This "splitter" enable me to walk the old chaps tangle free, with one leash instead of two.

I couldn't wait to get up the next morning and try out the new fandangled objects.

Day one: I excitedly fitted their muzzles and attached the splitter to ONE leash, and then to each of their collars. I adjusted it to what I felt was the appropriate distance between the two dogs and off we went.

Now, Duke being a lab mix, and Dryphus a malamute mix, they are not small dogs. Which happened to be one of a few factors I hadn't taken into account:

Problem number one:

Two dogs on one arm ends up being double their strength versus half of mine. This posed to be a problem when during our lovely morning walk, which takes place along a country road that sports a 6 foot deep ditch, the dogs spotted several treasures.

They spotted a rabbit, a cat and a pair of ducks all in the ditch. I'm sure you can imagine the scene to follow each sighting. In my unpreparedness they lunged together to the bottom of the ditch chasing each of these creatures. Leaving me face down on the ground grasping at the leash and attempting to hoist them back up to the safety of the road. As I'm no dummy, it only took me 3 incidents before I realized if I saw the creatures first, I could distract the dogs and avoid future face plants.

Problem One; Solved.

Now onto problem number Two; Mastery of the "splitter"

It takes a little time for a dog to realize it is attached to another, and even more time to acquire the skills needed to use the outdoor "facilities" while hooked to another dog.

I mentioned earlier that both dogs are unfixed males. Anyone out there who has ever had the pleasure of a male doggie companion with everything intact, knows any object that reaches the dogs eye level must be marked. You could walk with the dog for 24 hours and the marking would continue until his well runs dry. Even then it does not stop. The dog continues "marking" when there is no longer liquid flowing onto the 6" tall blade of grass. It is quite fascinating to watch as the dog lifts his leg, and gives a little -puff- of air hoping that that last bit of scent is squeezed onto the area.

Marking turns out to be a bit of a problem while two dogs are hooked together at the neck.

The process is amazing. It begins with a little dance where both dogs turn to the right , oh . . .and then to the left, . . oh . .and when that doesn't work they each do a little hop, . . and try to lift one leg over the other dog, . . .but that doesn't work either. Finally they try one last twist/turn maneuver in which they both end up on opposite side of the 6 inch flower head toward tail and they lift their legs. Resulting in the showering of one another in the face, and peeing all over my brand new "splitter".

They then attempt to undo the dance just done, which results in my intervention and a series of untwisting moves to untangle the two. This is a lovely task when the "splitter" is covered in urine. Fortunately after several weeks of practice, Duke and Dryphus have finally learned a maneuver in which only the item being marked receives a shower.

Problem 2: Solved.

Problem number 3: Poopy scoopy

"Poopy scoopy" really has nothing to do with any of the new equipment, but everything to do with the boys' old equipment being a little loose. You see being a good citizen I carry doggie bags with me. Not the kind you bring dinner home from a restaurant in, but the kind you bring poo home in from the dog park in. When leaving the house I have every intention of using them, but the old boys have developed some loose plumbing and they know it. So rather than stop when they need to empty their bowls they've begun to take a "hunkered" form while walking, casually dropping quarter sized dollops every foot or so. Try as I might I cannot bring enough bags, or figure a way to clean this "hunkered" dolloping system off the ground. So to all my neighbors I apologize, and would gladly accept any hunkering advice you may have.

Problem number 3: Not solved.

In defence of my old chaps though, they are old, pushing 70 and 80. Senility, grumpiness, and loss of control have set in. So regardless of their loose bowels, -puffs- of scent, and scrambles to mark anything towering over 6" tall before the other, I still love them. I will still attempt to scoop the hunkered dollops, and separate them when they are senile and grumpy and decide to brawl.

Now a note to my husband and parents, when you become old and senile, grumpy and have loose plumbing, I will do the same for you.

Life is all surreal. Treat the people around you with love, because tomorrow you may not have the chance.

MJB

In Memory of Shy-She

2009-07-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is as it appears, we have (had) a cat named Shy-She, my daughter named her for reasons you'll find in the story below. I'm embarrassed to say I have mixed feelings about the passing of this lovely wild feline. And feel a little at fault for her death.

We had a funeral Saturday which consisted of my oldest son (being the minister) humming taps, but only getting the first 2 notes right. My oldest daughter bawling her eyes out, for she caught the wild cat and brought it home a few years back to torture me. And my 3 year old loudly repeating "Shy-She's in the ground, Shy-She's in the ground" during the attempted hum of taps.

I hate for anything to die, but feel somehow that it was my doing. The darn thing somehow could sneak into my house at night. And she felt the need to use my only carpeted room, the upstairs family room, as her personal toilet. Just a day before we found her, I cleaned the carpet and prayed she would no longer be able to find her way in.

Would I have changed my prayer if I new she would die? Hmmm.

So in Memory of Shy-She, here is a blog from a year or so ago.

Lesson learned "why babies are so cute"

Along with marriage comes the baby carriage right? Well sort of. Along with marriage my husband and I fell into a wonderful home. Upon returning from our honeymoon, we precisely moved into our magnificent 5,000 square foot church, soon to be house. Don't be fooled. I use the word magnificent to describe it's large size, along with how great the work that needed to be done before it was a home.

At that time, (10 years ago) the whole thing was gutted. No kitchen, no sheet rock, no windows to let the sunlight in. Thankfully we did have the luxury of a bathroom. Let me tell you, it was as magnificent as the rest of the house, double doors to the busy street outside and all!

Now, it's not so bad really. Most of the main floor has windows, sheet rock and light fixtures. The first thing we added was a kitchen, and just last year we finally got heat. The previous nine years in Oregon were a little cold.

I'm sure if you know anything about us and our family, you'd know my husband hates cats with a passion. His loving mother (who's not real fond of pets herself) was kind and loving enough to stoke that fire by helping our daughter catch a wild six month old female calico to bring home a few years back.

Sure my husband said no, but when a child is holding pet in hand and "Grandma said it was O -k- dad?" is the plea. What can you do? Two years later the cat is still wild as a panther and more fertile than a pair of rabbits.

Back to that church house. A few things seem to constantly be neglected in getting done.
1 No eaves
2 open rafters and studs up stairs
How is this relevant? You ask. I'll tell you.

Most animals you can catch once throw out the front door and never again worry about them pooping on your favorite leather couch. You'd think still with fifteen foot eaves that a cat couldn't get back in even with openings leading into that sky high attic.

Not true! Every night at the stroke of twelve I'm awakened by a terrible thrashing noise above my head, only to remember it's just the wild cat scaling the wall. The wild cat who happens to choose that minuscule part of the house where I sleep, to make such a noise each night. The wild cat who's second captured kitten from litter number three was just plopped in my lap while daughter number one from litter of seven is going back into the attic to retrieve more.

Kitten number one is already perched on my shoulder and has overcome hissing and biting and resorted to pooping and snoring.

You may think the solution to this kitten fiasco is simple. So do all of us.

*I think my husband should button up the house and put up the eaves. Then the cat couldn't get in. Now that would solve the problem.

*Then there is my husband who thinks yelling "Clean up this poop and keep that cat out of the house! I HATE CATS!" will solve the problem.

*And last but not least is daughter number one from litter of seven who thinks sobbing "I'll catch it and pay with my own money to have it fixed" will solve the problem. To which I reply "Yes, but then we'll need to put the siding on and get the eaves up so . . ."

I think you can see the problem. It's a constant cycle that all boils down to a matter of opinion really.

And if we can't agree? The problem may never be solved.

Now if I could just catch that mother cat . . . .get the eaves up and . . . . . Oh what's the use.
The house isn't finished anyway, and by the time it is, the teenage years will have set in. Seven kids ages ten to nineteen by then. I'm sure that cat (if it still exists) will be the least of our worries.

I'd better get back to taming these darn cats, so we can give them to some other unsuspecting family.

Which finally brings me to the lesson for today "Why babies are so cute!" If they weren't who'd want the darn things.

Ahhhh . . . .If the new family only knew what was coming.

Life is All Surreal. There comes a time in life where humor becomes necessary.

MJB

An Early Moon

2009-07-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

Oh the joys of parenting. There is a certain time in a childs life, from the ages of 1 1/2 to 3 when every day is new and exciting, for both parent and child. This is the age, where a child is becoming more independent, and learning to do many of the things that have become second nature for the rest of us. One of these things being natures call.

Potty training, how I love thee. Now my first two children just happened to be perfect, (or so I thought). I made sure they did everything first, and were better and smarter than all the other children. After all it was my duty, I was their mother, and I wanted to be the "perfect" mother. I now know it was that "perfect" attitude that landed me 7 children in 9 years. God has a sense of humor, and a way of getting us where he wants us.

It wasn't til children #'d 3, 4, 5, and now 6 that I realized potty training was something best done when left up to the child who's duty is at stake. Amazingly the last 2 children potty trained themselves much more efficiently than any of the ones I attempted to train. My method? There isn't one, just leave them be and they'll do it themselves.

Our 2 year old is currently working on learning about natures call, and reminded me about that yesterday evening. I went out to do laundry and upon my return to the front door, I noticed her standing awkwardly looking down at the bottom of the stairs. I called out "If you need to go potty, go on the toilet," but . . . it was to late. Low and behold, there was a large brown blob laying between her feet on the rug. I set my laundry basket inside, and removed the child from the front door to the bathroom toilet. Luckily yesterday was the hottest day of the year, so when I went to retrieve mister blob, and place him in the toilet too, I was blessed with the experience of fighting off several bees and flies from their meal.

Poop in toilet, I moved on to the next task at hand (with seven children I am never bored). Later in the evening, as the kids finished watching Nemo, and the credits and the music began to play, they started to dance. My husband and I were enjoying them when the potty training two year old began summersaulting. I nuged my other half telling him to look at how cute she was, when in her little dress I realized she had nothing on underneath. I could swear I had put underwear on her, but wait no, . . . I placed child on toilet, . . .placed poop in toilet, but where was the child then? She wasn't on the toilet to remind me to put underwear on her, so in the 30 seconds after the incedent it left my mind. Which now brings the question, where are the underwear she had on before?

Well at least the moon came early at the end of the day. I can use computer overload as an excuse. You know, when you tell your computer to do too many things at once for too long it freezes up and can't even do the simplist of commands anymore. This is the mode I go into some evenings. Occasionally I look like a vegetable on the couch, and no amount of commotion can bring me too.

Yes life is all surreal, don't let it pass, and wake up wishing you had lived more. Enjoy the moment, whether it's an early moon, or a lump on the floor. There's humor in it all.

MJB

Zen in the midst of chaos

2009-07-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

It becomes apparent that you have mastered the art of meditation when you have a yoga practice similar to my experience this morning. Or maybe you've just mastered what so many men are born with. That is selective hearing, or the ability to zone out, choosing not to notice unwonted things.

I've always been anti video games for children. Yet, my oldest son at a very young age became obsessed. Whenever we would visit a friends home which beheld a gaming system, he would have something similar to a panic attack if he was not allowed to play. Not a behaviour I wanted to deal with outside our own home.

So naturally when the wii gaming system was released a few years back, I snatched one up, and brought it home to help my son learn self control. Soon after, I purchased wii fit, and made the rule that if the children wanted to play wii, they had to log 20 minutes of exercise on the system first. Needless to say, my children don't play wii nearly as often as my husband and I.

I've enjoyed yoga for the last 6 years, along with running, biking, swimming, anything that will keep me active and release all that built up stress accumulated with a crazy busy life. Generally I'll endure some aerobic activity, and follow up with my own regiment of yoga poses, stretching and relaxing my muscles, and giving my mind a mini vacation.

As for my practice this morning. I began with some wii boxing, followed by some wii hula hooping and finished up with some meditation, and calming yoga poses of my own. I gave my children the task of cleaning their bedroom hoping it would occupy them til I had completed my meditation, so I could have something resembling peace and quiet. Great idea, but naturally they finished just in time to join me during my yoga practice.

First my oldest son came and stood above my hands during downward facing dog, and loudly announced we're finished followed by several questions I purposely did not register as I continued to breath calmly through the pose, attempting to stay in mental relaxation. I carefully jumped into a forward bend, holding my head in place as not to knock over my son and myself in the process. Upon ending the sun salutation I shewed him off along with the others to "double check" their room then moved onto some triangle and warrior poses.

Side poses are the most difficult for me, and while carefully breathing and trying to stay balance in triangle pose, my 2 year old decided to show her love for me by running at full speed and grasping my leg, squeezing tightly until I returned the show of affection. Amazingly, I held through the pose, returned to standing and returned her love. Upon opening my eyes, though, I realized ALL 7 children were sitting in front of me on the couch waiting for me to finish, and release them from "cleaning" duty to play outside. Soo, I ended my practice just shy of my favorite pose, corpse pose. But I feared the result of laying on the ground with so many little ones watching may result in a jump on the stomach. Thus my "Zen in the midst of chaos." At least it lasted for a moment. . . . of course all those beautiful faces staring at me when I opened my eyes did produce a big smile on my face :)

For now, I'd better attend to the baby who just awoke with tears in the bassinet to my right.

Remember life is all surreal, take in every moment while it lasts.

MJB

I'm Here

2009-07-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

Don't just be. Live! Enjoy every moment before it passes. In the midst of a growing business, 7 children to raise, many pets and pursuit of time for myself, I've found humor will never be overrated. I have pages full of odd and funny moments in life. It's time to share what I've enjoyed in the experience of life. In every offbeat thing, there is some joy or bit of humor. Cling to these, not anger, not frustration. Happiness is a choice, contentment is a decision. When it comes to money and possessions, enough is never enough, there is always more to seek. BUT if you can learn to be content and thank full with what you have, more joy will be given to you.

Oh, and yes this is a picture of my son "swimming" in the toilet. Terrible thing I'm sure to take a picture of a child, and afterwards scold them on how they should never, never , never again try to swim in the toilet. But it's a memory I'll now never forget, and one I'm sure he'll wish I had as he gets older.

Remember life is all surreal, enjoy every moment of it.

MJB

Ice Cream For Dinner

2009-07-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

Life is short. Summer is hot. Why not?